“Your life—who you are, what you think, feel, and do, what you love—is the sum of what you focus on.”
Winifred Gallagher
Many of us work hard everyday, but we are often unaware of what our time went. Did I spend time on the things that matter? Did I move an inch in a hundred directions, or did I make meaningful progress? Was the last day, week, and month well-lived?
Whenever these questions arise, I return to following three questions:
- What are my four important domains?
- How much time do I spend on each domain?
- How will I spend my more time on what matters?
What Are My Four Important Domains?
Conceptually, your life is made up of domains. Think of your major spheres of activities: work, family, health, community, spirituality, et cetera. It’s like an investment portfolio, but instead of putting in money, you invest with your time and energy every day.
How important you view each domain reflects your values: that’s what matters to you right now.
How do you figure out your top domains? One place to start is your heart. Ask: what brings you the most joy? When gives you a strong sense of purpose? What activity is meaningful? Where, how, and with whom would you spend your time if you have a choice?
Once you have an initial list of activities, group the answers into domains. For example, spending time with your parents, partner, children and extended relatives can be under family. Your job, business, and side hustle can be under work. Church and volunteer work may be under community.
How you define your domains is up to you. Creative pursuits can be part of work or self-care. Exercise can be part of health or community. Meditation can be under spirituality or religion.
Limit your domains to no more than four. Take a moment to see if certain domains are more important than others. If you look deeply, you may see how these domains are interrelated. For example, if your family domain thrives, you are in a better mental shape to produce high quality work. When you have health, you will have more energy to dedicate to your friends or community. These domains may appear separate, but they are also one: they are all part of you.
How Much Time Do I Spend on Each Domain?
How you allocate time to each domain reflects your choices: that’s how you live today. What we value and how we spend our time are not the same. In fact, it may be shocking to see how the two differ.
One way to find out is to do a quick time audit. Spend a few minutes and roughly tally up where your time went last week. Look through your calendar. Review your projects, notes, and emails if they help to recall the week. How many hours went to work? When did you spend time with friends and family? Did you rest and take care of yourself?
Compare how you spend time versus how you value each domain. What do you notice?
When you allocate proper time and energy across your domains, your choices align with your values. Even when you work hard feel tired, but you will likely feel fulfilled because you know your time is invested in what matters. On the contrary, tension arises when your choices and values conflict. This happens when your time heavily skews towards one particular domain at the expense of the others.
Conflicts always exist. Each domain competes for your limited attention. We are human. We don’t make perfect choices. Circumstances can also be a challenge. Sometimes an imbalanced life is the only choice. We have to make ends meet. Accidents happen. Life has rough patches. That’s okay. But whatever the situation, we always have a degree of control over our choices. It starts with being aware of where we stand today.
While we should be compassionate with ourselves, it’s equally important to remember is that your important domains keep count over time. If you ignore your body for years, you will burn out. If you disregard your families and friends, you can’t do a big catch up years later and call it even. The more your values and your choices disagree, the more you are going to suffer over the long term. The wider the gap, the greater the damage. It’s fine to not water your plants for a day or two. But if you don’t water them for months, they will eventually die.
How Will I Spend More Time on What Matters?
If what you value and how you spend your time is perfectly aligned, congratulations. But if you are like the rest of us, we have some discrepancies to reconcile. For me, I tend to spend too much time on the computer for work and pleasure. That takes away time for health, family, and friends.
Since we have the same 24 hours a day, the only way to invest more in the top domains is to change the way we use our time. That means shifting time from less important things to the most important domains.
How can we find the time? It may be easier that you think. First, identify the activity we want to do less of. Some examples of what I have identified in the past:
- Consume less entertainment (social media, internet, and TV)
- Buy fewer things which reduces time on research and maintenance
- Exit unimportant obligations (committees, community groups)
- Resist perfection when 80% is enough
- Decline social invitations that take away my prime time
Second, we must choose where the time goes. Again, my examples below:
- Dedicate the first hour of each day the most important project
- Write, reflect, and meditate
- Exercise or go for a walk
- Plan a day trip for my family
- Make dinner for friends
You can even get creative by choosing activities that contribute to two domains at the same time. If your domains include friends and health, invite a close friend to go on a walk. If your domains include family and personal growth, invite your partner to read an inspiring book and have a discussion. The options are limitless.
What will you do today?