Only you know your kairos

I wrote a piece titled Now or Later last week, exploring the timing of our actions.

A reader responded, “Later is sometimes better and richer.”

His comment reminded me of three short stories.

The first story—funny enough—is the comedian and actor Ken Jeong. After graduating from medical school in 1995, Jeong worked as a doctor at Kaiser for seven years while casually performing stand-up comedy in his spare time. When he decided to pursue comedy full-time a decade later, many of his jokes were based on his knowledge of working in healthcare.

“Later” gave Jeong the materials to enrich his craft.

The second figure I thought of was the novelist Toni Morrison. Throughout her 15 years as a book editor, Morrison had wanted to read a novel centered around the most vulnerable people in society—women, children, and Black people—but none had passed through her desk. She decided to write a novel in her late 30s. That book, The Bluest Eye, became an American literature classic.

“Later” allowed Morrison to see the book she wanted to write.

The third person that came to mind was the Hungarian Holocaust survivor Edith Eger. After surviving horrific trauma at Auschwitz during the Nazi occupation, Eger started a new life in America and became a clinical psychologist. She graduated with a Ph.D. at age 50, started a therapy practice, and wrote two of my favorite books: The Choice and The Gift.

“Later” called Eger to be a source of healing.

What’s fascinating is that all these “laters” were “nows” at some point: Jeong had to confront at age 36 whether to switch to a risky career. Morrison had to decide whether to take on a large book project as a single mother with a demanding full-time job. Eger had to discern whether to enter graduate school in her 40s.

The Greeks describe time in two ways: chronos and ​kairos​.

Chronos is quantitative, measurable clock time (hence the word chronological). When we say, “I start my job at 9 a.m. and work for 8 hours,” we refer to chronos.

Kairos, on the other hand, is qualitative time. We experience kairos when we are in the flow or feel the urge that now is the opportune moment. Kairos can’t be planned or forced; we can only pay attention and notice it.

Should we act now or later?

No one else can answer that question.

Only you know your kairos.