Hi friends,
The other day, I was driving in Pacific Heights in San Francisco. My partner and I were on our way to pick up a to-go order at a restaurant. As I surveyed for parking, the car slowly rolled to an intersection.
A black motorcycle abruptly emerged from the corner of the intersection. It was going fast and made a surprisingly wide turn. Out of instinct, I steered the car towards the sidewalk to avoid a collision.
Thankfully, it was a near miss.
But that wasn’t the end of it.
The shiny Yamaha approached. The rider stopped beside me, looked me in the eyes, and yelled. His voice was muffled through his helmet and the car window, but I didn’t need to hear the words to know he was furious.
He gave me a harsh look and a finger as he drove off.
It took me a second to realize what had just happened.
My anger built as I continued driving. While my car had slightly leaned towards the motorcyclist’s side of the lane, his wide turn at high speed also contributed to the near miss.
It was a glorious day in the city. My partner and I had just taken a peaceful walk along Crissy Field with a spectacular view of the Golden Gate Bridge under a blue, cloudless sky. We planned to pick up lunch and enjoy the afternoon at a park nearby.
I asked, why was I angry? His rudeness. The aggressive verbal attack.
Then I asked, why was he angry? I believe it came from fear of injury (and death). His response was to avoid harm and deter threats to protect himself.
After fuming for a few minutes, the philosopher Epictetus came to mind, “It’s not what happens to you but how you react to it that matters.”
So I asked myself one more question: how will I choose to react now?
Will I remain enraged, or will I recover and enjoy the beautiful afternoon as planned?
“He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty; And he who rules his spirit, than he who captures a city.”—Proverbs 16:32
“Choose not to be harmed—and you won’t feel harmed. Don’t feel harmed—and you haven’t been.”—Marcus Aurelius