“To live in this world, you must be able to do three things: to love what is mortal; to hold it against your bones knowing your own life depends on it; and, when the time comes to let it go, to let it go.” once wrote.
Mary Oliver
Losing someone you love is difficult. There’s no way around it. All your plans, hopes and dreams are now shattered. The deep joy you once experienced has turned into gut-wrenching sorrow you didn’t think was possible.
When that happens, don’t pretend everything is the same. It’s okay to admit that your world has been fundamentally disrupted and rearranged.
Grieve, fully. Let your tears stream down. Keep crying if your body calls for it. When you do, lean in to the feeling of deep sadness. Experience it fully with openness, tenderness, and compassion. The sensation will come and go like waves in the ocean — sometimes fierce, sometimes gentle.
Our grief is nothing but a sign of how much we loved. It is also an invitation to reexamine our priority and how we use our limited time on earth. Are we going to retreat, or are we going to move forward with courage?
The hard fact is: Life never guarantees to turn out as we expect. We want control, but we have little. Anyone’s physical body — including our own — can cease anytime. When the time comes, we must learn to let go. Not only the physical body, but also the “what-if” questions about what could have happened.
As time passes, don’t feel guilty to feel happy again. It’s not cheating on the dead if we laugh too much or become playful. Instead of dying with the dead, we can choose live for them.
Don’t be scared to choose love again.
Be comforted that our spiritual love persists. The people we love never leave us. They will remain in our heart forever.
Our whole life is ahead of us now. And our loved ones will want us to celebrate each moment and choose a full life.