Jimmy Chim

Author: Jimmy Chim

  • It Gets Easier

    When the newsletter idea came to me last September, I was excited but uncomfortable. As I wrote in ​my first letter​, “Who am I to send stuff to people’s inboxes? Where am I going with this?”

    Since I hadn’t worked on a creative project like this before, I had to learn new skills: how to collect ideas, distill stories down to their essence, and assemble them in a (hopefully) creative way.

    But the most monumental challenge was mental: the doubt of hitting send. The first twenty newsletters were the most difficult. I would rework my draft a dozen times, often filled with doubts. Sometimes I rewrote the entire letter and realized the previous version was better. 

    After experimenting for 40 weeks, the creative process remains challenging (and fun!), but I have begun to develop a sense of what I like and what may resonate with you. Most importantly, shipping the newsletter feels progressively more natural.

    My weekly goal is simple: give my best effort and hit send. If I manage to do that, I know I have made my following week a tad easier.

  • Breakthrough at 99 Ranch

    99 Ranch is a pan-Asian grocery store in the U.S. What sets it apart from traditional American grocery stores is its fish department. While most American supermarkets sell pre-cut fillets, 99 Ranch features a wide selection of whole fish. The staff stands ready to prep the fish to your liking—cleaned, head removed, or even fried.

    Despite the robust selection and the full service, I had never bought a whole fish in my 15 years of shopping there. I often wanted to try it, but my lack of experience held me back: I felt stumped about which fish to choose and how to cook it. 

    Seafood is an integral part of Cantonese cuisine, so I had a fair amount of fish growing up. However, as a kid, I was a mindless eater. I often ate whatever was at the dinner table without knowing what fish they were or how they were prepared; my mother took care of all that.

    When I visited 99 Ranch this past week, I felt the urge to break the cycle. I decided to go with the most straightforward option that involved no work: fried fish.

    Approaching the seafood counter, I was once again overwhelmed by the options. Cod, tilapia, hamachi… How about bass? Oh, there are three types of bass…

    As I stood, undecided and unsure, the shoppers around me navigated with confidence. A Chinese lady picked up a trout with a plastic bag in hand. An Indian lady requested to slice her bass into four equal steak pieces.

    Finally, it was my turn. I mustered the courage and asked if snappers were suitable for frying; the seafood clerk behind the counter said yes.

    “Ok, I will take this snapper. Regular fry #5, please.” I said.

    The clerk efficiently cleaned and descaled the fish before dunking it into the hot oil. Five minutes later, he removed the golden-fried snapper from the fryer, wrapped it in foil and paper, and slapped a $6.32 sticker on the packet. He handed it over and wished me a good day.

    That’s it?

    I took the fish home and enjoyed it with soy sauce and chili sauce; it was delicious. What tasted better, though, was the triumph from a small breakthrough: I no longer have to shy away from the fish department.

  • Start with One True Sentence

    Ernest Hemingway published seven novels and numerous collections of writings over the course of his life. But did he ever have trouble creating?

    He wrote in his book A Moving Beast:

    Sometimes when I was starting a new story and could not get it going, I would sit in front of the fire and squeeze the peel of the little oranges into the edge of the flame and watch the sputter of blue that they made.

    I would stand and look out over the roofs of Paris and think,

    “Do not worry. You have always written before and you will write now. All you have to do is write one true sentence. Write the truest sentence that you know.” So finally I would write one true sentence, and then go on from there.

    Takeaways:

    • Even Hemmingway has writer’s block!
    • If you aren’t sure how to begin, start with what you know for sure. As crossword puzzle creator Will Shortz once put it, “Begin with the answers you’re surest of and build from there.”
    • Let the truth be the guide.

  • What Gets In the Way Is the Way

    In 1985, Steve Jobs was forced out of Apple over disagreements with the company’s board and management team. Being kicked out of the company he co-founded was a painful experience, but the setback fueled his future ventures–NeXT and Pixar–and ultimately his return to Apple in 1997.

    Jobs reflected on his journey at his commencement address at Stanford in 2005:

    “I didn’t see it then, but it turned out that getting fired from Apple was the best thing that could have ever happened to me.

    The heaviness of being successful was replaced by the lightness of being a beginner again, less sure about everything.

    It freed me to enter one of the most creative periods of my life.”

  • Make Something Wonderful

    At an internal Apple staff meeting shortly after the iPhone launched in 2007, an employee asked Steve Jobs how Apple would keep its culture and brand intact as it grew.

    Jobs answered:

    “One of the ways that I believe people express their appreciation to the rest of humanity is to make something wonderful and put it out there. And you never meet the people. You never shake their hands. You never hear their story or tell yours.

    But somehow, in the act of making something with a great deal of care and love, something’s transmitted there.”

  • Put Something Back

    At a designer conference In 1983, Steve Jobs demonstrated a computer called Lisa (named after Job’s daughter) to a group of designers who had never used a computer before. A designer in the audience asked what motivated Apple.

    Jobs answered:

    “We feel that for some crazy reason, we are in the right place at the right time to put something back. Most of us don’t make the clothes we wear. We don’t cook or grow the food we eat. We speak a language developed by other people. We use mathematics developed by other people.

    We are constantly taking. And the ability to put something back into that pool of human experience is extremely neat.”

  • What Wasn’t There Before

    Music producer Rick Rubin wrote in his book The Creative Act:

    To create is to bring something into existence what wasn’t there before.

    It could be a conversation, the solution to a problem, a note to a friend, the rearrangement of furniture in a room, a new route home to avoid a traffic jam.

    Whether we do this consciously or unconsciously, by merely being alive, we are active participants in the ongoing process of creation.

  • Make Something Wonderful

    After the iPhone launched in 2007, one employee asked Steve Jobs at a staff meeting how Apple would keep its culture and brand intact as it grew. He answered:

    One of the ways that I believe people express their appreciation to the rest of humanity is to make something wonderful and put it out there. 

    You never meet the people. You never shake their hands. You never hear their story or tell yours.

    But somehow, in the act of making something with a great deal of care and love, something is transmitted there.

  • Losing Rhythm

    I have been tracking my morning habits on and off for two years. My morning routine has three things: a few minutes of light exercise, a few minutes of meditation, and reading/writing. In my journal, I write an X every time I do these things. 

    I fell off the routine over the last 30 days; that was the longest stretch of misses in the last two years. I got sick for a couple of weeks and had work travels, among other things. My body struggled in the morning, so I prioritized rest. 

    My strength had since returned, but I didn’t resume my habits right away. After missing it for a few weeks, I lost rhythm. 

    Maybe I should just scrap the routine? 

    But I miss how it feels to accomplish the things I set out to do first thing in the morning. When I follow the routine, I feel more grounded. Going without it in the last few weeks left me more irritable and distracted. 

    So for the 47th time, I have decided to restart this week. I have been through this before: I will fall again, and that’s okay. What matters is whether I choose to pick up where I left off.

  • 30 Years of Pool

    For a while before the pandemic, I was into playing billiards. This hobby came to a halt when covid hit since all the pool halls were closed.

    In early 2021, a pool hall called Samwon Billiard in Oakland Koreatown was reopening. I texted Kevin, my pool buddy, to see if he was interested. Kevin and I hadn’t met in person for over a year. Both of us hadn’t yet been vaccinated at that point. We deliberated but quickly decided that the risk was worth it as long as we wore a mask. It had been too long since we last played.

    Once we decided to go, I grew excited. “I’m actually shaking. This is a dream lol.” Kevin texted back.

    Thomas, the owner of the billiard business, is a mellow, soft-spoken Korean man in his sixties. The pool hall has been around since the mid-90s. I asked Thomas why he went into this business.

    “The previous owner missed rent and left. The landlord was looking for someone to take over,” he said. “I was somewhat keen on billiards. A pool business didn’t seem hard to operate. But boy, that street was truly scary in the 90s… lots of crimes and gun violence back then.”

    Thomas often checked in on his customers. He would clean the tables himself, offered snacks, and–if you were up for it–show you to how to play Korean pool on the table without pockets.

    A year and a half ago, Kevin shared with Thomas that he would leave the Bay Area and move to New York, so it could be a while until he visited again. On Kevin’s last visit, Thomas bought us Korean dinners with galbi, japchae, and chicken. He offered his private soju for farewell.

    Recently, I heard that Samwon is closing next month. The area will be rebuilt as apartments. I also heard Thomas is happy to take a break after working hard for 30 years.

  • Secret Broth Ingredients

    There is a family-run Vietnamese restaurant not far from my house called Super Super Restaurant. I have been going there for years. The owner, his wife, and his kids work at the restaurant.

    Super Super’s menu has less than 20 items. Pho noodles, banh mi sandwiches, and rice plates are the classics. Their #1 noodle soup is my favorite. The pho broth is the best of all the Vietnamese restaurants in the area.

    When I went for lunch a few weeks ago, the owner took my orders with his usual big smile. As we chatted, I asked how long he had been in business.

    “Ohhhh…this location for over eight years. I started cooking in Vietnam in 1978, and I moved to America in 1982,” he said, “I have been cooking for over 40 years.”

    There it was—the secret to Super Super’s amazing broth: forty years of work and dedication.

  • The Cost of Delicious Lentils

    Earlier this week, we went to an Ethiopian restaurant nearby. Like our last visit two years ago, Shita, an Ethiopian woman in her fifties, greeted us with a warm, soft smile and hurried back into the kitchen. She was the only person working. Taking phone orders, cooking, serving — it was all her.

    The chickpea stew, lentils, and spicy mushrooms came out piping hot. As we enjoyed our meal, Shita confided she would likely close the business in the coming months. Rent had increased substantially. The kitchen would flood at times. The landlord was difficult to deal with: he refused to fix the plumbing issues and other damages on the property, and they were in multiple disputes. She fixed some issues on her own and paid for a contractor out of her pocket for other bigger problems, essentially making her work for nothing for days.

    Even though the quality of her food was outstanding (4.5+ stars on Google Maps and Yelp with hundreds of reviews)—Shita clearly took pride in her food—business had declined due to covid and inflation. A month ago, a customer stole her iPhone along with a credit card processor when she was working in the kitchen. For the next two days, customers couldn’t reach her (some grew concerned and checked on her in person), and she lost more business.

    “I have managed this business alone for eight years,” she said. “I’m tired. I think I’m ready to move on. It’s okay. The worst case is that I will live with less. I have my family. I have no problem being happy. I will figure something out. Maybe I will go back to the farmer’s market.”

    It’s rare to get a glimpse of the people working behind a mom-and-pop business. Shita strikes me as someone who believes. She takes risks, works hard when no one else pays attention, and persists even when the outcome is uncertain.

    Once I understand the real cost Shita bears to share her food with the world, the price I pay for my lunch is clearly too low.

  • Haruki Murakami’s Writing Habit

    ​​From The Paris Review, Summer 2004:

    When I’m in writing mode for a novel, I get up at 4:00 am and work for five to six hours. In the afternoon, I run for 10km or swim for 1500m (or do both), then I read a bit and listen to some music. I go to bed at 9:00 pm.

     I keep to this routine every day without variation. The repetition itself becomes the important thing; it’s a form of mesmerism. I mesmerize myself to reach a deeper state of mind. 

    But to hold to such repetition for so long — six months to a year — requires a good amount of mental and physical strength. 

    In that sense, writing a long novel is like survival training. Physical strength is as necessary as artistic sensitivity.

    See also: “The Running Novelist,” The New Yorker, June 9, 2008

  • How Joel Embiid Became an NBA MVP

    1. The Process

    Joel Embiid landed in Florida in 2010, fresh from Cameroon. At the age of 16, he spoke little English and didn’t know anyone in America.

    Joel signed up for a summer basketball camp three months before his trip. That was his first time playing basketball. At seven feet, he dunked on another player on the first day.

    Luc Mbah, a Cameroonian NBA player, saw Joel’s potential at the camp. He made calls and got Joel an offer to play high school basketball at Mbah’s alma mater in the US.

    When he showed up for his first practice at his new high school, Joel was brutally bad. Beyond dunking, he had no fundamentals. The coach said he was terrible and asked him to leave the gym. His new teammates laughed at him. He tried to defend himself and ask them to trust the process.

    They said, “LOL NAH YOU SUCK.”

    Joel returned to the dorm, devastated. He looked up plane tickets back to Cameroon.

    “This is crazy. What am I even doing here?”

    2. Studying The Best Players

    In his dorm room, he turned on some Lil Wayne rap music. The pain from the humiliation faded a little. Slowly a strong sense of motivation emerged.

    He didn’t believe that was the end yet.

    He said, “I’m just going to work and work in the gym until I’m good. KOBE.”

    His coach in Cameroon sent him an hour-long tape of the best big men in the NBA. Joel put the video on repeat every day for three years.

    YouTube became his second coach. After endless hours, he noticed the best shooters all share a few things in common: tucked elbows, bent knees, and smooth follow-through. He started to imitate what he saw while practicing daily with a friend.

    He imagined himself to be a good basketball player.

    3. Consistency of the Work

    After Kobe Bryant retired, Joel had an opportunity to meet him.

    When Kobe walked into the room, Joel told him he started playing basketball seven years ago because of him and how he’d shoot the ball at the park and yell, “Kobe!”

    Kobe laughed. He then said to Joel:

    “O.K., young fella. Keep working, keep working.”

    Joel went to the gym after.

    Joel Embiid (1994–) is a professional basketball player for the Philadelphia 76ers. In May 2023, he won his first NBA Most Valuable Player Award. He has averaged over 30 points per game in the last two seasons, including a career-high of 59 points against the Utah Jazz in November 2022.

    Reference: Wikipedia, It’s Story Time (Joel’s article)

  • Me? They’ve Got Me Wrong

    Most people know Michaelangelo as a famous painter, but not many know that he was also a poet. In fact, he wrote a poem how uncertain he felt about painting.

    Giovanni, come agitate
    for my pride, my poor dead art! I don’t belong!
    Who’s a painter? Me? No way! They’ve got me wrong.

    The Complete Poems of Michaelangelo, Poem #5

  • Brick by Brick

    For 40 weeks now, I have sharing three interesting stories/ideas in my newsletter. I plan to keep it up.

    One challenge I consistently run into is that I don’t have the stories early enough in the week so the last couple of days becomes stressful. Sometimes my full-time job gets busy, and other things happens in the life. It becomes challenging to find time and energy to work on the newsletter stories a day or two before the ship date.

    I am now exploring another approach. Instead of trying to find three stories last minute, I write one short blog post every day. It can be a random interesting idea or story or passage I come across. If I do it daily, I have at least seven stories every week. When the time to compile my newsletter comes, I have a collection of materials to choose from. Not all seven will be good, but it shouldn’t be hard to find three decent ones.

    As I was thinking about this, I came across a quote from author and recovering alcoholic Sarah Hepola on slow change:

    “Change is not a bolt of lightning that arrives with a zap. It is a bridge built brick by brick, every day, with sweat and humility and slips. It is hard work, and slow work, but it can be thrilling to watch it take shape.”

    Source: My relapse years

    I love this analogy. Now I imagine myself laying down a brick every time I build on an idea, draw a diagram, or add a post to the blog.

  • The Headaches We Don’t See

    I went on a bike ride with a friend the other day. He started a company 8 years ago. His company has been growing over time, and he now has a sizable team.

    Recently, he has hit a rough spot. He has been working with a large customer who promised 50x his existing business over the last three years. This customer turned out to be running into financial trouble over the last year. Their attitude began to turn, and the relationship soured.

    Now they are in a legal dispute over millions of dollars. The customer wants to cancel an order and get a refund of what was supposed to be a non-refundable prepayment.

    The whole episode has caused distress to my friend. Not only has his effort not turned into business growth as expected, but he is also spending a significant amount of time dealing with lawyers and court cases.

    My friend looked tired. “Sometimes I just want to be an employee. Get my salary and forget about the rest,” he said.

    The comment struck me. There’s often a halo around entrepreneurship. It seems like a “cool” thing to do, and in my view, it’s endlessly fascinating to build an enterprise, especially for a worthy cause, solving a problem you are called to solve.

    But what we often don’t see is the risks, the headaches, and the uncertainties that go behind the seen. It’s not all glamorous.

    Nothing is.

  • What Makes a Great Restaurant?

    Is it the decor, the service, or the variety in the menu?

    Berkeley has a little takeout-only restaurant called Top Dog. It’s a hole-in-the-wall joint near the college campus. They sell hot dogs freshly made on a grill. You can choose a few varieties of sausages, like Frankfurter, Kielbasa. Service is not particularly friendly. You help yourself with sauerkraut and other condiments. There is no place to sit.

    This place is nothing fancy, but people–students and old-time residents–love it. There are lines at midnight on weekends. People savor the hot dogs, standing on the street, spilling ketchup and mustard on their shirts. Then they order seconds.

    Why do people go back? Consistency.

    When people know what to expect, and you meet that expectation, you create what people want. The quality has to be solid, but it doesn’t need to be fancy.

    But it has to be consistent.

  • How I Came to Love Basketball

    When I was in fifth grade, I transferred to a new school.

    My previous school was in a densely populated neighborhood in Macau. The school playground for 1,500 students was the size of one basketball court. The school banned students from running in the playground at all times except during PE classes.

    When I first walked into Colegio Dom Bosco, I was stunned: there were eight basketball hoops, a soccer field, and an indoor gymnasium. My new school allowed students to play sports anytime: before class, during recess, during PE, during lunch break, and after school.

    You must be joking.

    A religious society called the Salesians of Don Bosco managed the school. John Bosco, the society’s founder, was an Italian priest who dedicated his life to poor youth in Turin, Italy, in the 19th century. Bosco believed play must be an integral part of education, and sports should be available to all.

    I didn’t know anything about Don Bosco then, nor did I care. All I knew was that I played basketball four times a day. It was heavenly.

    On the other hand, my mother wasn’t too pleased.

    Many mornings when I walked out of the house in my ironed uniform–a white shirt, white pants, and a maroon tie in the winter–my mother reminded me that I was expected to be home by 4:30 pm sharp. She said I’d better get on the first available bus after school. I nodded.

    School ended. My friends inevitably asked, “Game?”

    Sure, why not. I have time.

    When I walked into the house at six o’clock, panting, my mother was furious. The buses were full, I said, and there was traffic. She pointed to the dark ring of stain that had formed around my collar from sweating. When I looked down, I noticed my white pants had turned gray. My black leather shoes had scuffs and scratches. I smelled terrible.

    But I didn’t care. I was having the best time of my life. That was far more important than keeping my uniform clean or getting home on time.

  • Balling with the Americans

    Two weeks after I arrived in America, I took a bus to Target–the one on Stevens Creek Boulevard in Cupertino. I located the sports aisle and settled on a $24.99 Spalding indoor/outdoor basketball. The cheaper $19.99 Wilson tempted me, but five dollars seemed a reasonable premium for a ball with a better grip.

    I went to an outdoor court near my apartment. The court was empty, so I practiced layups with my new ball. Ten minutes later, five guys showed up. They asked if I was interested in a game.

    I was nervous: I had never played basketball with Americans before. 

    Do they all really good?

    Two of the guys were much taller than me–must have been at least 6’4″–and I imagined them dunking. But I was the last player they needed for a 3-on-3, so I said yes.

    The group was friendly. At first, I didn’t understand what they meant when they said, “Let’s do 1’s and 2’s” and “Clear everything,” but thankfully, basketball is a simple game: you score when the ball goes into the hoop.

    They were all better players than me, but I had fun.

  • What Kept Me In the Game

    While packing my gym bag last Saturday, I held my basketball for a second. The sense of anticipation, of possibilities, hadn’t changed since fifth grade.

    What I love the most about basketball is the experience of focusing on one thing. When a game is on, the rest of the world melts away. The only thing that matters is the play at hand. There is no time for analysis when you must make hundreds of nuanced decisions within milliseconds. There is no room to dwell on the last airball when the other team comes up with another attack. There’s no choice but to let go of the busy mind, rely on the body, and let instinct take over.

    The game makes me feel free and alive. That’s why I go back for more.


    “It hadn’t really ever occurred to me to let things flow the opposite way. But that’s what knitting did. It reversed the flow. It buckled my churning brain into the back seat and allowed my hands to drive the car for a while. It detoured me away from my anxiety, just enough to provide some relief. Any time I picked up those needles, I’d feel the rearrangement, my fingers doing the work, my mind trailing behind.”

    —Michelle Obama on knitting, from her book The Light We Carry

  • Become Better Listeners

    In a podcast interview, economist Tyler Cowen asks music producer Rick Rubin what we can all do to become better listeners. Rubin answers:

    Start…[to] understand what the other person is saying.

    Most of us, when listening, are formulating an opinion, either in response—what are we going to say in response? What do I think about this? Or looking for something to disagree with, or a piece to latch onto.

    We take a little piece and then tune out from what’s being said. Any ability to turn our own filters off, forget about what we think, not be analytical at all, and only listen with the idea of truly understanding what the person is communicating.

    Then ask questions if there’s anything that we don’t completely understand or anything that might be different, anything that seems odd that the person is saying.

    I’m not saying challenge them. I’m saying, “Oh, why is that the case? How did you get to that?”

    When we truly open ourselves to people, they tell us everything, and we can learn a tremendous amount.

  • How I Nearly Lost $196.24

    I received two texts Monday morning.

    6:34am: “Wayfair: You are unsubscribed from all SMS alerts.”

    6:32am: “Thank you for placing your order with Wayfair. Reply Y to confirm your order. If you did not place this order, reply N.”

    I was puzzled.

    Did I sleepwalk and shop for furniture in the middle of the night?

    I opened my email and saw a flood of messages. There were at least three dozen email list confirmations, coming from Alliance Française Bristol, United Churches of Langley, BPI Asset Manager, among others. Some were in Polish and Romanian.

    I scrolled to the bottom and saw the two messages that started it all:

    6:33am: Thank you for your order!
    ​
    ​6:20am: New Device Sign-in

    Now I understood what had happened. An ambitious fraudster woke up at six in the morning, logged into my account, and shopped for 13 minutes. He—or she—picked an “80-Quart Antique Patio Cooler” worth $200. Once he placed the order, he disabled text alerts on my account (he should have done this first). He then signed me up for multiple mailing lists to overwhelm my inbox and cover up the order confirmation.

    The invoice had a woman’s name and a delivery address near Sacramento, California. An online search indicates a 75-year-old woman lives at the said address.

    Did she commit the fraud? Possible, but unlikely; that would be too obvious. If it was her grandson, would he be so reckless to use her grandmother’s real name and address? Could it be one of the woman’s neighbors?

    Also, was the plan to use the patio cooler for a barbecue this weekend, resell it on eBay, or something else?

    Moreover, how many times has the fraudster pulled this trick? Where did he get my login? Does he do this for fun, a side income, or a living?

    I have many more questions.

  • Hidden Exposure

    Against all best practices, I used the same password for many websites.

    I knew the risks. A few months ago, another major data breach was in the news. After ignoring my online security for years, I dedicated a Saturday afternoon to resetting passwords. I went through the most critical accounts—banking, email, and travel services—but grew tired and gave up after three hours.

    There were too many accounts.

    This week’s experience is a reminder: adopting a new service has a hidden cost. Signing up for a new account often seems fun and innocent—especially when the website offers a freebie—but my exposure increases every time I offer personal information. The risks accumulate.

    Now I pay for my negligence over the years: daily spam calls, constant text alerts about my frozen bank accounts, and voicemails in Mandarin saying the FBI and the IRS are after me.

  • A Digital Battle

    According to one estimate, Americans receive roughly 50 billion spam and robocalls every year. Emails are worse: over 100 billion spam emails are sent and received globally every day, though most are caught by spam filters. About 4 million records are exposed to hackers daily. 

    Sadly, this trend will continue, if not accelerate. Scamming costs little and can be done from a safe distance, while the payoff may be worthwhile for the perpetrator even if only 0.00001% of the recipients fall for the scam. Technologies will solve some of the problems, but a new type of fraud will emerge as soon as the old one stops working. 

    It will be an ongoing battle.

  • A Bizarre Relationship with Notebooks

    I have always had a drawer filled with notebooks.

    If you flip through these notebooks, you will notice an oddity: They all have a few used pages, but the remaining pages are blank.

    I am most careful on the first page when starting a new notebook. Every letter is upright. Every sentence fits neatly on the lines. If I draw a diagram, the circles are round, and the squares have sharp edges.

    Once I get to page five, my handwriting shows early signs of messiness. Perhaps I’m tired. Maybe I only have seconds to jot down what someone said. Or I need to correct what I wrote.

    The trend quickly worsens from there. When I reach page ten, my writing becomes unwieldy and unbearable. I hate that I cannot maintain neatness as I had it on page one. 

    Destructive thoughts surface at this point. I do one of two things: I either rip the used pages out and start over (which often causes the notebook to disintegrate and fall apart) or I head to the store and buy more new notebooks.

    —

    I opened my notebook drawer when I picked up journaling again in 2020 after a six-year break. I was perplexed as I went through dozens of partially used journals. 

    Who cares if the writing is neat? I don’t even read this. 

    On that day, I vowed to use every journal to its last page. I would never tear pages off again. If I didn’t like what I wrote, I would draw a horizontal line and restart underneath.

    In August 2021, I completed a journal cover-to-cover for the first time. It might sound silly, but I felt triumphant.

    What I wrote in that journal didn’t matter. What mattered was that I let go of an undesired obsession that had governed my life for as long as I could remember. Something in me had shifted.

    I am now on my seventh journal.

  • Behind Schedule

    It’s early Wednesday morning. I’m staring at the computer screen. 

    Draft for this week’s Friday newsletter: blank.

    Generally, at this point, I would have a decent draft pending the finishing touches. This week, I don’t. I didn’t start as early as usual.

    I feel uneasy. I dislike being unprepared. I want perfection.

    “But what is perfection?” I ask.

    “Flawless work done ahead of schedule. You are running out of time. Why aren’t you focused?”

    I have more questions. I want to know what flawless means. I want to know what happens if the work isn’t perfect, but answers aren’t coming.

    I keep my hands moving, writing pages and pages. But the harder I try, the further away perfection seems. 

    As I struggle, a quote from writer Anne Lamott comes to mind:

    Perfectionism is based on the obsessive belief that if you run carefully enough, hitting each stepping stone just right, you won’t have to die.

    I let that sink in for a second. Then I conclude: 

    Yes, I am behind schedule. No, I don’t know what I’m writing yet. What I write this week will not be perfect, but it doesn’t matter because perfection is impossible anyway.

  • The Ultimate Challenge for a Powerful CEO

    Gene was on the mountaintop. 

    When he took the reins and became the CEO of a major accounting and consulting firm two years ago, over 20,000 people reported to him. His travel took him all over the US and abroad, rubbing shoulders with the most powerful business and political leaders.

    Given his busy schedule, his calendar was booked more than 12 months out. Every meeting was prepared ahead of time. Perfection was the norm.

    This all changed in the spring of 2005.

    Gene’s wife, Corinne, stared at him oddly at one dinner. 

    “There’s a droop,” she said as she touched his face. 

    Gene didn’t feel anything unusual. As the weekend went on, Corinne noticed tightness around his mouth and sagged cheek muscles. It could be stress-related, Corinne said, and he should get it checked.

    Gene received a standard physical exam at the neurologist’s office but a surprising recommendation: he should come in for an MRI the next day.

    When Gene saw his MRI result, he was shocked. Compared to the unblemished right side of his brain, the left side looked milky, with dots of varying sizes scattered everywhere. They looked like galaxies.

    After further testing, the doctor concluded that he had glioblastoma, an aggressive form of brain tumors. He would soon develop blurry vision, seizures, and other symptoms. 

    He would have to cancel his next family vacation. In fact, the doctor said, he had to cancel everything.

    Because he only had about three months left.

    “My days as a man at the top of his game, vigorous and productive, were done, just like that,” he later wrote.

    Eugene O’Kelly (1952-2005) was the chairman and CEO of KPMG US (which happened to be my employer for six years). After his prognosis, he resigned as CEO to focus on his treatment, unwind personal affairs, and spend time with his family. He documented his experience in his memoir, Chasing Daylight.​

    When I reread his book this past weekend, I was most struck by his reflection on how you could lose all control in life just as you thought you had figured it out. He wrote:

    You can’t control everything, I told myself, as hard as it was to hear myself, a Type A personality, say those words. 
    ​
    I wouldn’t allow mishaps and bad luck and especially a defeating attitude to throw me off my goals, one of which was to try and make every day the best day of my life… 
    ​
    The CEO, the micro-manager, needed finally to let go.

    Eugene passed away on September 10, 2005, four months after his initial doctor’s visit, at the age of 53.

  • SFO International Terminal

    “Take care of yourself.” 

    My dad’s words rang as I watched my parents enter airport security. It felt like I had just picked them up the day before, hugging them for the first time since the pandemic. 

    Where did the last two weeks go? 

    As I walked back to the parking garage alone, I surveyed the quiet San Francisco International Airport. 

    It’s a special place. 

    Here I go from having no one to having someone. 

    Here I go from having someone to having no one.

    Here I teleport to another world—and back. 

    Here contain as many emotions as I can name: joy, excitement, anticipation; sorrow, dread, fear; and everything in between.

  • What made O’ahu heavenly

    While in Honolulu, my family and I had a few hours before our flight back to San Francisco, so we went for a walk in a park nearby.

    My mother perked up when she saw a line dance group. There were about 40 people, of mixed ethnicities, mostly in their 40s and 50s.

    “I know this song!” My mother said as we walked past the group. She also picked up line dancing as a hobby during the pandemic. 

    “You all keep walking. I go back.”

    My mother approached the group and started following the dance moves from afar. After the first song, two friendly dancers invited her to come closer.

    “Follow the guy in the orange shirt—he’s terrific!” a woman advised. She had a kind face.

    After another song, the leader directed the group to turn around and welcome us in the back. He asked for our names, and everyone cheered. 

    ​The man in the orange shirt guided my mother. She asked questions and received more coaching. Everyone laughed. 

    I had never seen my mother form an intimate bond with others in a foreign land in such a short time.

    What made my mother—a reserved woman with limited English in an unfamiliar city—engage with strangers without hesitation? What prompted her to participate in an activity that could make her look stupid? 

    It was the power of a community with a common belief. 

    ​This community in Ala Moana Park believes that dancing is a free gift to be given and received. It is inexhaustible. Better yet, it multiplies when shared. 

    My mother believes in that, too. 

    The community isn’t concerned about who the best dancer is. Its people enjoy dancing. What matters is that more people get to share the joy of being in motion.

    A community gives life when it seeks each other’s well-being. Its energy is palpable and contagious.

    A community like this is remarkable because it transcends above language and speaks directly to the heart. People behave differently: they care for each other. They create a space where everyone can be themselves. People do not worry about judgement, success, or failure. 

    With psychological safety, everyone can explore, try new things, and take risks. Dancing alone in public can be intimidating, but it becomes fun when you do it with a community you trust.

    The most impressive part of this story was how it unfolded like an impromptu dance. My mother accepted the invitation, participated, and fared well with the group within half an hour. 

    All this happened unprompted and unscripted. 

  • MH370

    On the flight back to San Francisco, I watched MH370: The Plane That Disappeared. It was a Netflix documentary series about the Malaysian Airlines flight that went missing on March 8, 2014, en route from Kuala Lumpur to Beijing. 

    (Sidenote: Watching a documentary about a missing plane with real-life turbulence in the air was a unique experience. When Youali saw my choice of “in-flight entertainment,” she shook her head with disapproval.)

    This was the most prominent aviation mystery in the twenty-first century. All 229 passengers and 12 crew members on board a Boeing 777 vanished.

    While the technical aspects of the story were fascinating, what struck me the most was the interviews of the surviving family members. 

    A Malaysian woman had to explain to her two children why their father, a flight attendant on board, hadn’t come home from work. A French man lost his wife and two daughters. A Chinese man never saw his mother again. 

    Despite significant search efforts and expert analysis, the most basic questions remain unanswered today. What happened? How? 

    I can’t imagine not knowing the whereabouts of someone I care about for more than a few days. The next of kin of these 239 families have lived through the hell of unknowing for almost a decade.

    How many times have they asked, “why?”

  • I Am Free!

    A prisoner dug a tunnel under the prison wall and managed to escape. He came right out right in the middle of a school playground where a child was playing. 

    When the prisoner emerged from the tunnel, he was exhilarated. He couldn’t restrain himself and started jumping up and down. 

    He cried, “I am free, I’m free, I’m free!”

    The little child looked at him funny and said: 

    “That’s nothing. I’m four!”

  • Bets

    In a podcast interview, actor Matt Damon was asked whether he was surprised by any of his movies that weren’t as well received as he expected. He said: 

    “They are all bets to a certain degree…

    You don’t see the movie before you make it. You get the ingredients for whatever you’re cooking. You see what the ingredients are, and you go, ‘alright, with all these people around we should be able to do something pretty good.’ 

    Hopefully you start with something you thought was great, and end up with something good.

    And some of them just don’t work.”

  • A Not-for-profit Gold Mine

    Among the world’s top five most trafficked websites, one stands out.

    This site has 60 million articles available across 332 languages. Two billion people visit the site every month, with thousands adding new content daily. The site has, on average, 5.7 edits per second.

    This level of traffic typically means a gold mine for a technology company, but most of the contributors don’t receive a dime. There are no shareholders, and the executives do not have million-dollar compensation packages. 

    Most amazingly, this website has no ads except for occasional asks for donations to cover operating costs. It’s a rare place on the Internet where you can breathe and read in peace.

    An interviewer asked Wikipedia founder Jimmy Wales in 2014, “If Wikipedia were capitalized in the same way as [regular] Silicon Valley companies, wouldn’t you have more money to do more things?”

    He replied:

    No, no, because if we were in that situation, we wouldn’t care about languages, for example.

    If we were supported by advertising, we would care about entries that get another million users in the US but not what might be of interest to another million readers in India.

    A big part of my aesthetic vision for Wikipedia is that it is like a temple for the mind. I’m not anti-commerce, but I don’t think it belongs in every aspect of life.

  • The Movie I Want to See

    Brad Bird is a film director, animator, and producer at Pixar. He led the production of two major computer-animated films: The Incredibles and Ratatouille. Both movies won the Oscars.

    When asked whether Pixar tries to “find out what the customers want,” Bird explained his approach during an interview:

    “My goal is to make a movie I want to see. If I do it sincerely enough and well enough—if I’m hard on myself and not completely off base, not completely different from the rest of humanity—other people will also get engaged and find the film entertaining.”

    —Reference

  • A Life Turned Upside Down

    Marina’s feet were in the mud. She was trudging towards Russia’s border with her 11-year-old daughter.

    Half a year earlier, Russia invaded Ukraine.

    On March 14, 2022, Marina was, as usual, working in the newsroom for Russia’s most popular state-run news program. But this day was different. She was looking for an opportunity, an opening.

    The guard on site was on her phone, distracted.

    It was time.

    When the broadcast went live, Marina burst into the set. She went behind the news anchor and held up a big sign. It said:

    “No war. Stop the war. Don’t believe the propaganda. They are lying to you here.”

    The camera cut away within six seconds.

    Marina Ovsyannikova was born to a Russian mother and a Ukrainian father who died when she was a baby. She grew up in Chechnya, a Russian-speaking region with a history of seeking autonomy. Russian soldiers crushed the area in the 90s, so her family fled.

    The war left a scar on her.

    After college, Marina joined the state-run Channel One TV channel as a journalist in Moscow in 2002. Her job: cherry-pick broadcasts to make the West look bad. She was in the propaganda role for twenty years. It paid well and allowed her to raise two children in a safe, gated community.

    However, something changed when Russia invaded Ukraine in March 2022.

    As part of her job, she saw clips of villages destroyed by strikes. She watched Ukrainian refugees struggle to escape. It reminded Marina of her childhood.

    If she continued the work as she had in the last two decades, her hands would be “covered with Ukrainian blood,” she said. “The war simply became a point of no return. It was no longer possible to keep quiet.”

    After the extraordinary anti-war protest on TV, Marina faced days of interrogations by the FSB, Russia’s security service. She resigned from her job and paid a fine.

    Many Ukrainians were skeptical of her protest, given her prior history as the state’s mouthpiece. Her 18-year-old son said she had ruined her family. Her ex-husband, who works for another state-run TV channel, attempted to take over the custody of their two children.

    In July 2022, she protested again outside the Kremlin against the killing of children in Ukraine. This time, she faced a criminal offense with up to 15 years of prison.

    Her lawyer urged her to escape while she was on house arrest.

    With the help of organizations that support reporters and dissidents, Marina left Moscow on a Friday night in October 2022. She cut off her electronic monitor, changed car six times, and finished her journey on foot.

    Marina is now in exile in France with her daughter Arisha.

    ​

    —Reference: NYT, BBC, Le Monde, Wiki

  • Saying It in a Different Way

    This week I emailed a colleague with a simple, straightforward request. My message included context. She responded:

    I don’t understand.
    What do you need?

    Her blunt reply surprised me. A few colorful ways of responding came to mind (“Did you read?” was one of them), but I was hungry and went to lunch. After I ate, I wrote:

    Hi [colleague name], apologies for any confusion.

    Then I followed with three bullet points stating the same things in the previous email. This time, she said:

    On it. Thanks.

  • Reframing

    On March 17, 1959, Tenzin Gyatso had to make a choice.

    By then, the Chinese Liberation Army had surrounded Lhasa, Tibet’s capital. Nine years of negotiation between Tibet and Communist China resulted in little prospect for peace.

    A Chinese military officer invited Tenzin, then 23 years old, to a “dance show.” The officer demanded his bodyguards stay home.

    The signs were clear: If Tenzin stayed in Tibet, the Chinese would arrest him. He would likely disappear from the face of the earth.

    The only other option—escaping—was equally unthinkable. He would have to depart immediately, sneak past the Chinese military, and summit 19,000 feet up the Himalayas with little planning. Snowstorms, sandstorms, anything could happen.

    Above all, what would be the fate of his country if he left? How about the lives of the millions who viewed him as the spiritual leader?

    South African Archbishop Desmond Tutu asked The 14th Dalai Lama 56 years later, “You had to leave behind the country you love the most. Why are you not sad?”

    The Dalai Lama, who had been in exile in India ever since, replied[1]:

    We lost our own country and became refugees, but that same experience gave us new opportunities to see more things.

    If you look from one angle, you feel, oh how bad, how sad.
    But if you look from another angle at that same tragedy, that same event, you see that it gives me new opportunities.
    Personally, I prefer the last five decades of refugee life. It’s more useful, more opportunity to learn, to experience life.
    That’s the main reason that I’m not sad and morose.
    There’s a Tibetan saying: ‘Wherever you have friends that’s your country, and wherever you receive love, that’s your home.’

    [1] See this video (part of the Netflix documentary Mission: Joy). The interview between Desmond Tutu and The Dalai Lama was first transcribed in The Book of Joy, one of my favorite books.

  • When You Go Fast

    One day, a young business executive made a long-distance call to a foreign colleague.

    The executive said with intensity, “I am giving you instructions. I only have exactly three minutes. I will talk, and you will listen without interruptions.”

    He went on to deliver his message. He spoke so rapidly that he finished a bit ahead of time.

    “We have twenty seconds left. Any concerns?” the executive asked.

    “Yes,” the man on the other line replied.

    “What is it?”

    “You spoke so fast. I didn’t understand a word!”

    As a Chinese saying goes, “If you want speed, you don’t arrive.”

  • 15 Minutes a Day

    Anthony Trollope was a 19th-century English writer. Throughout his life, he published over sixty books and an impressive collection of letters and short stories. He did that on top of a full-time job at the postal services.

    His childhood and young adulthood didn’t appear promising:

    • His classmates bullied him at school.
    • He failed his bar exam even though his father was a lawyer. 
    • He fled to Belgium to avoid money lenders when his farming venture was unsuccessful. 
    • He had a poor reputation for being late and insubordinate while working at the London post office.

    But things began to turn in 1841. Trollope transferred to Ireland for a new postal assignment. Around this time, Trollope explored becoming a writer. 

    Every morning Trollope would write for a couple of hours, in 15-minute increments, before heading to the post office. He aimed at 250 words every 15 minutes. 

    He kept this routine for decades. It made a difference.

    —

    When I first read Trollope’s story a couple of years ago, it inspired me to set small, effort-based goals. 

    I used to set multiple ambitious goals on a given day, like “finish an article” or “file taxes.” I would get frustrated at the end of the day when I couldn’t get even one thing done.

    Now my goals are simpler: “write for 20 minutes” or “work on taxes for half an hour.” They are independent of the outcome. I find it easier to focus on the task at hand and get into the flow. Working on projects this way has become less stressful and more enjoyable.

    Trollope’s method has also inspired me to go on short walks. 

    Every day I stroll around the neighborhood for 15 minutes. It has done wonders for my mental health. Sometimes Youali teases me and says, “You are back from the walk already? You just went out.” It’s lovely.

  • Why Not Me?

    Born in the 1930s, Rosey Grier was a big guy at 6’5″ and 300 pounds. He was a professional football player for eleven years. After his NFL career, Rosey served as a bodyguard for his friend and former US Senator Robert Kennedy. When a gunman assassinated Kennedy in 1968, he was at the scene and helped subdue the attacker. He also sang and did radio talk shows.

    While his career was fascinating, what intrigued me the most was his hobby.

    Rosey loved needlepoint. It’s a form of embroidery where one stitches yarn through an open-weave canvas. This hobby calmed him and reduced his fear of flying.

    However, his hobby was controversial. It didn’t conform to the muscular image of a big football player. His friends and other NFL players mocked him. He received harassing phone calls.

    All this bothered Rosey, but he kept doing what he enjoyed. He managed to convert some of the football players who made fun of him to give needlepoint a try. He published a book called Rosey Grier’s Needlepoint for Men in 1973.

    “Getting a little more interested? Read on, brother! Next, I’m going to tell you how to make your way around the needlepoint store,” he wrote in a book chapter.

    A reviewer insightfully commented on Rosey’s book on Amazon:

    “He looked at a hobby usually taken up by female dead in the eye and said, ‘Why not me?’”

  • What Remained After a Decade

    This past week, I organized a drawer and came across a stack of old notes. It appeared I journaled for about three months in 2014 (before picking it up again six years later).

    I was taken aback by what I privately wrote (in Chinese) on August 23, 2014:

    A blank piece of paper.

    Don’t know what to write.

    No plans.

    No goals.

    I must write.

    Translate my thoughts into ink.

    I don’t need a glamorous life.

    But I also don’t want a suffocating routine of only making money and paying bills.

    I must leave here.

    Life has to be more than this.

    Many aspects of me have evolved in the last decade, but many have also remained.

  • How A Bank Failed in 48 Hours

    You might have heard Silicon Valley Bank (SVB) failed this past week. I don’t usually write about news, but SVB’s collapse was quite a stunning story.

    If I were to explain what happened in the simplest possible manner:

    • SVB banked mostly with startups and tech companies. The bank took in large amounts of deposits over the last few years because its customers could easily access money with low interest rates.
      ​
    • Demands for loans were low during the pandemic. Sitting on too much cash, SVB decided to buy longer-term investments (e.g. 10-year U.S. Treasury bond) with a higher return. The risk was that the bank wouldn’t be able to get their money back quickly, but the bank wasn’t concerned. For a while, the strategy worked well.
      ​
    • Inflation spiked last year, so the Federal Reserve increased interest rates to cool down the economy. Meanwhile, SVB’s customers had difficulty raising money and started to withdraw. The magnitude of withdrawals surprised SVB. Their cash reserve dwindled.
      ​
    • Under better circumstances, SVB could have sold its investments to cover the withdrawal. However, the bank had trouble this time because the value of their investments had plummeted due to the interest rates spike.
      ​
    • On March 8 (Wednesday), SVB made a surprise announcement to raise additional capital ($2.25 billion) with little context. That scared more people to withdraw money from the bank. Chatter started to spread on Twitter in the venture capital and tech community.
      ​
    • The confluence of events resulted in a “run” on the bank. By March 9 (Thursday), everyone wanted their money back. Withdrawal requests were over $40 billion in a single day. The bank ran out of cash by the end of the day.

    • By law, the government regulator (FDIC) stepped in and took over mid-day on March 10 (Friday).
      ​

    This story is a reminder that the tide can turn quickly. An established organization that looks formidable can crumble anytime.

    ​

  • Imperfect Option

    Amelia Earhart aspired to be an aviator, but flying wasn’t a career option for women in the 1920s, so she got a job a social worker.

    One day at work in 1928, Earhart got a phone call. “Would you like to fly the Atlantic?” a man asked. Though with one condition: she would only be a “token pilot”—the plane would actually be operated by another man.

    What did she say to this preposterous offer? She said yes.

    Four years later in 1932, Earhart was the first woman to fly solo across the Atlantic Ocean. She became an inspiration around the world.

    None of these would have happened had she turned down that offensive offer in the first place. She knew she needed to get started somewhere—even though the option presented wasn’t perfect.

  • What Didn’t Change After A Decade

    This past week, I organized my room and came across a stack of old notes from a decade ago. It appeared I journaled for about three months before picking it up again six years later.

    I was taken aback by what I privately wrote, in Chinese, on August 23, 2014:

    A blank piece of paper.
    Don’t know what to write.
    No plans.
    No goals.
    I must write.
    Translate my thoughts into ink.
    I don’t need a glamorous life.
    But I don’t want a suffocating routine of only making money and paying bills.
    I must leave here.
    Life has to be more than this.

    Many aspects of me have changed in 9 years, but many have also remained.

  • Disrupt a 20-year Pattern

    In the last 20 years, I started many projects. I had a dozen blogs with less than ten posts. I had a podcast in 2006 with five episodes on computer-related topics. I lost count of how many journals I had bought.

    These projects were nowhere to be found three months later (sometimes only two weeks).

    Cantonese, my first language, has a lovely expression for someone like me: “having three-minute passions.”

    While six months isn’t long, my weekly newsletter project is the most consistent creative pursuit I have ever done.

    This time, I made a simple rule for myself: No matter what happens, the newsletter goes out on Friday at 6:30 am Pacific Time every week. No exceptions. Even if the week is a disaster. Even if doubt kicks in. Even if I cringe at my draft on Thursday night.

    Let’s see if one change can break the patterns of two decades.

  • Is It Possible to Tell a Story with 3 Sentences: My 17 Attempts

    These are mostly silly personal stories.

    1. Nun: A Catholic nun at my elementary school got my friends and me in trouble for running (the school was tiny with too many students and didn’t allow anyone to run during recess). When the nun—who might have been Italian, I am not sure—stopped us, I uttered the only non-Chinese words I knew: “Oh my God!” The nun let my friends go, and I received standing punishment for the rest of recess.
    2. Day 1 in America: When I arrived at San Francisco International Airport in 2007, my cell phone didn’t have service, so I went to a public phone booth to call my cousin, who would pick me up. En route to San Jose, I couldn’t find my phone and panicked. After searching through my backpack six times, I realized I had left my phone at the airport phone booth after I looked up my cousin’s phone number.
    3. Loyalty program: As a college freshman, I frequented a small independent coffee shop on campus. One day I had an idea: the coffee shop could use a loyalty program—something like buy 5 drinks and get 1 for free—to boost its business. I pitched the idea to the owner, who said, “thank you, but no thank you.”
    4. DMV: My driving instructor showed me the only route that the Los Gatos DMV (near San Jose) used for testing. During the driving test, I almost signaled too early during the test before the officer even asked me to make a left. I passed my driving exam with zero mistakes.
    5. Black Friday: In my first year in America, my friends invited me to queue up overnight for Thanksgiving Black Friday sale at Fry’s Electronics. When the store opened at 5:30 am, the crowd went nuts after freezing in the cold for hours and was close to stepping on each other. I lost one of my shoes for 30 seconds but retrieved it amid the chaos. Despite having no car, I walked out of the store with a TomTom GPS.
    6. Honest rating: During a phone interview for a summer internship, an interviewer at Morgan Stanley asked how I would rank my finance skills. I hadn’t taken a finance class then, so I gave myself 3 out of 10. I never heard back.
    7. Skipping lunch: I once was at Apple’s Cupertino headquarters for an in-person job interview. Two associates said they would accompany me to lunch when the panel interview was over. I was dumb enough to not realize lunch was still part of the interview and said, “No, thank you. I need to go back to campus for class.” Again, I never heard back.
    8. Partner: I once attended a 50-person summer party at an accounting firm partner’s house. When I bumped into the partner, I had a brain fart and said, “Thank you, Josh, for hosting the party. It’s fantastic.” The partner said, “You’re welcome. My name is Chad, though.” My career never advanced.
    9. Target: I once had an assignment doing financial diligence (read: analyze numbers) on a company in Vancouver on behalf of a client. When the Canadian immigration officer asked for my reason for visiting, I said, “I’m here to investigate the target (the term we internally use to confidentially refer to a company potentially acquired).” The officer raised his eyebrow and took me to secondary screening.
    10. Speeding: A cop once pulled me over for driving 45 miles per hour in a 25-mph zone. I apologized and explained I speeded because I had to go to the bathroom. He said, “Well, now you have to wait even longer,” and gave me a $480 ticket.
    11. Delicacies: The three most exotic things I have eaten in my life are 1) snake soup at a wedding in Hong Kong, 2) cow eye tacos (tacos de ojos) in Mexico City, 3) a guinea pig (cuy) in Peru. I will eat none of the above again. Speaking of Mexico…
    12. Corn: My wife was mortified that I bought corn in a cup on the streets of Mexico City. She said, “Did you not see the mayonnaise had been under the sun the whole day, and the container’s rim was black from the smog?” I survived—in fact, thrived—for the rest of the trip without diarrhea.
    13. Wedding proposal: I proposed to my wife with a bracelet and a handwritten letter. I read the letter out loud in front of Inca ruins in Peru. No ring, but it worked.
    14. Mezcal: My wife and I brought a hundred 50mL bottles of mezcal from Mexico back to the U.S. At the border, the customs officer said we exceeded the alcohol limit five times and would have to pay taxes. I said I was unaware of the rules and that the mezcal bottles were gifts for our wedding guests. The officer said, “Today is your lucky day—the United States government is giving you a break. Congratulations on your wedding!”
    15. Credit card: While applying for a credit card, the website said I could add 3 users for bonus reward points, so I included my dad, my mom, and my dog. A card engraved with “Xing Chim” arrived two weeks later.
    16. Yosemite: When I checked the weather before a trip to Yosemite National Park, the weather app said it would be 40F (5C), so I told my mom to only pack warm clothes as if it was snowing (she’s afraid of the cold). When we got there, it was 85F (30C). I realized I had checked the peak of Yosemite. We burned up and went home early.
    17. Yellowstone: The day before flying to Yellowstone, I panicked when I realized no car rentals at the airport would allow underage renters (I was one month away from turning 21). My two other companions couldn’t rent a car, either, so we drove 1,000 miles from Berkeley and got there in a day to not lose out on the nonrefundable hotel rooms. It took us 18 hours to pass through Nevada and Idaho and enter Wyoming (I had never driven outside of California then.) The scariest part was the heavy fog at midnight—for half an hour the visibility on Interstate 80 was close to zero. We took a nap at a Walgreens parking lot in Reno for half an hour at 3 am along the way. I don’t recommend visiting a national park this way.

  • What I Have Learned From 33 Years of Life

    The other day I decided to write a list of 33 life lessons in one sitting. I ended up with 36. The exercise was fun! I highly recommend it.

    I plan to do this every year and see how the list changes.

    1. “Tell me more” is a complete sentence. Use it often.
    2. Be 80% full. If you are hangry, you make bad decisions. If you are too full, you have no energy. The sweet spot is when you are satisfied enough not to think about food. Speaking of food…
    3. When you eat, eat. The food will taste better.
    4. Treasure friends from young adulthood. You will likely spend the most time with them for the rest of your life. Friends you make later in life are great, but they are different.
    5. Money is a hygiene factor. You need enough to not worry. Beyond that, it’s a game. How you play is up to you.
    6. Things are always changing. The more you cling to the past, the more you reject the present. That creates pain and suffering.
    7. Every problem has multiple solutions. We get stuck when we assume there’s only one answer.
    8. Know your options. Good decision-making starts with seeing the paths available. You always have more options than you think.
    9. Choose. Make up your mind. Be deliberate with what you do. The ability to choose is an incredible gift. It’s also called freedom.
    10. Three options if you are unhappy. 1) quit; 2) change it; 3) accept it.
    11. Step away if you are stuck: Take a shower, do housework, or clean the garage. A bit of distance does wonders. Solutions come when you least expect them.
    12. Walk. You can’t do worse after a walk. Motion shifts your perspective. Anywhere with trees or a body of water works well.
    13. Sleep is an effective strategy. It solves problems that seemed intractable just eight hours ago.
    14. Learn by starting. The only way to become fluent in a language is to speak it. The only way to write well is to write. When you start, you struggle. When you struggle, you learn.
    15. Figure out the why. We often first jump into the what and the how, but why matters the most. What do you believe in? Why do this? Why do that? Why do anything at all?
    16. Journaling keeps giving: Every day write down: 1) what made you happy; 2) what didn’t go well; 3) new ideas to try. Great use of five minutes of your time.
    17. Get the right tool… If a (physical or digital) tool helps you do your work well and you will use it consistently, get it.
    18. …but start with the basic model: Get the simplest option. You can always get a fancier one later. That way, you don’t waste money on something you realize you don’t need. Also, upgrades are fun.
    19. Noticing is an underrated skill. Artists create beauty by noticing fascinating patterns. Entrepreneurs build a business by noticing an unsolved problem. Scientists discover breakthroughs by noticing irregularities in the lab data. Every interesting endeavor starts with an observation.
    20. Care for yourself first. You can’t contribute when you are depleted. If you are sleep-deprived, grumpy, and uninspired, nothing you do is helpful.
    21. Joy comes when you think of others. Lasting happiness is always shared. St. Thomas Aquinas defines love as “the choice to will the good of the other.” The Dalai Lama XIV calls it “wise selfish.” When you share with others, you feel happy yourself. If everyone is happy, being “selfish” or not doesn’t matter.
    22. Start small. The best advice I have ever received. When in doubt, start with one. If you did one, you already won. 99% of the people didn’t do it.
    23. It’s never too late. In a year, you will wish you started twelves months ago. Start now.
    24. One thing at a time. Multitasking doesn’t work. You will do worse. It’s science.
    25. Do it daily. Ironically, it’s easier to do something every day than 2 times a week. You can forget about the day of the week.
    26. Things compound. A small action or decision doesn’t seem like much on a given day, but if you keep at it, your path will look very different in 5 years.
    27. Time doesn’t change things. People do. You do.
    28. Write down what you plan to do. When you put ink on paper, it’s a soft commitment. You will be 10x more likely to do it.
    29. Three most important things (MITs). Every day pick three MITs. Do them before everything else. Everything else afterward is a bonus.
    30. Do the hardest things first. This relates to the previous point. Your cognitive energy depletes throughout the day. Save the easy stuff for later when you are tired.
    31. Make lists. The simplest yet most useful tool. Shopping list. Project list. Movies list. Packing list. Meal idea list. What-to-do-when-your-in-laws-visit list. Make one. It’s fun, useful, and revealing.
    32. Say no kindly. It’s okay to decline what you don’t want to do.
    33. Say yes loudly. If you come across a great idea or an opportunity, jump on it. This is the reason why you say no to other things: to have space to dedicate to the things that matter.
    34. Pick one battle. No need to be inundated by the many problems of the world. Many of them are out of your control. Instead, start with the problem in front of you. That’s what you’re called to do today.
    35. Listen to your heart. If you don’t listen, eventually it will catch up to you. And you will have spent a lot of time on what doesn’t matter.
    36. Call the people you care about. Partner, family, friend, whoever. Do it before it’s too late.

    What does your list look like?

  • All the ages at the same time

    Writer Anne Lamott said in her TED Talk that while we have a biological age, we all are ageless inside.

    I would further argue that regardless of when you were born, you are all the ages simultaneously.

    • You’re a child (the devil’s side): You want all the nice things for yourself — easy, fast, right away! 
    • You’re a child (the angel’s side): You daydream, share without ulterior motives, and laugh with pure joy.
    • You’re a teenager: You rebel, break the rules, and say, “screw it!”
    • You’re an adult: You pay bills, work at your job, and do “responsible” things.
    • You’re a senior: You lose sleep, lament an aching body, and worry about what tomorrow will bring.

  • The limit of technology

    Technology has advanced at an unbelievable pace over the last few decades. Life expectancy is higher. Food arrives at our doorstep with the click of a button. No one ever gets lost again (as long as there is the Internet).

    But when it comes to the things that matter, our ability to control them hasn’t changed much. Whether you get sick. Whether it is sunny this weekend. Whether something you care about happens or not.

    The same goes for life, aging, and death.

    Technology remediates at best.