Jimmy Chim

Category: Articles

  • A Habit Changed My Life

    I want to share with you a practice that has transformed my life. I have been doing it for more than two years. It makes me happier. It helps me make sense of a bad day. It gives me a sense of clarity.

    This practice is a five-minute daily review. The method is inspired by an exercise called the examen, developed many centuries ago by St. Ignatius Loyola, the founder of the Jesuits. I further simplified the practice and made it my own. Every morning, I answer three questions and note my answers in a journal.

    1. Gratitude

    The first step is to look back at the last 24 hours. Then ask: What are you grateful for right now? Doesn’t matter what it is. Note it. Some examples:

    • A delicious meal with family
    • A fun get-together with friends
    • A comfortable bed
    • A sense of peace when seeing the clouds in the sky
    • An inspirational line from a book
    • Kindness from a friend, a co-worker, or a stranger
    • Produced work you are proud of
    • Did vigorous exercise that made you feel alive
    • Tried something new for the first time

    Gratitude is one of the most underrated superpowers. It shifts our focus from what we lack to what we have. Gratitude affirms that good things exist. We are free to enjoy them as they are given to us.

    “If you’re grateful, you’re not fearful.” Benedictine monk David Steindl-Rast once said. Gratitude casts out fear. That makes it easier to experience joy with what we already have. It’s simple. It’s free. And it’s powerful.

    2. Reflection

    The second step is to review the challenges in last 24 hours. What do you see in your day? Sometimes we go through a hectic crazy day without being aware of what happened. This step gives you space to observe.

    Pay attention to what you did, how you felt, and what left an impression. What was difficult? What made you sad or angry? Did you feel tense, empty, or discouraged? If something didn’t go well, what could you have done differently?

    3. Resolution

    The last step is a natural extension of your reflection. What are one or two things you will commit to doing (differently) today?

    Did you feel grumpy working in front of the computer all day yesterday? Perhaps a short walk after lunch today will improve your mood. Did a comment yesterday hurt someone? Maybe you should say sorry. Did you waste too much on your phone? You can try leaving your phone in another room for a couple hours so you can focus the most important work.

    You don’t need to come up a laundry list of complex, overhauling changes. One or two simple things are enough. The point is not to be hard on yourself, but to see the possibilities within your control. Think of this as making small tweaks in the system. You can get creative, experiment with a tiny change, and see if it works. Then resolve to doing it.

    Putting It Together

    This three-step program—gratitude, reflection, and resolution—is not complicated. Yet it could be the best five minutes you spend on a given day. It allows you to make sense of what’s going in your life. It gives you a holistic perspective. At the end, you arrive at small actionable steps you can take.

    There’s no success or failure in this exercise. You simply learn to see things as they are. You experiment and see what works. Every day you learn something new. Not from other people, but from yourself. You can’t find better, more relevant lessons from anywhere else.

    Once you do this for a few weeks, the benefits will become even more obvious. Things that seemed like a big deal on a particular day will look trivial after a while. You will start to see patterns over a timeline. You will gain a better perspective of your life that no one else can offer you.

    You will be surprised by how much you can learn from yourself.

  • Commit to the Most Important Project

    Is there a project you’ve been trying to start for months?

    Perhaps you want to find a new job, pursue a new certification, or get your finances in order. Maybe you want to journal, learn a new skill, or declutter your home.

    Finding the focus for a new project is challenging. It’s easy to get caught up in the daily whirlwind: household tasks, work requests, and digital distractions.

    If you have a hard time getting started, here’s a strategy to try: commit to the most important project (MIP) for the next month.

    Why One MIP

    Limits bring focus. Focus means progress.

    Your project will be on top of your existing obligations. You still have jobs to perform, classes to attend, or families to take care of. It’s important to be realistic with your time and energy.

    Going from zero to one is the most difficult. You need all the focus you can muster to get started. It’s easier when your attention is dedicated to one thing at a time.

    List the First Three Tasks

    Your project will involve multiple tasks. For some people, it helps to make a plan all the way to the end. But for others, that level of planning is overwhelming. All you need to get started is the first three steps. The crucial thing is to start. You will focus on one thing at a time, and adjust your course along the way anyway.

    Tasks should be an effort entirely within your control. This means you are focusing on the input: work that you can accomplish as long as you dedicate the time.

    Start small at the beginning. If a task feels too big, break it into smaller ones, until it cannot be broken down any further.

    Here are some MIP examples and the first three steps.

    • If my MIP is to journal: buy a beautiful journal, put the journal next to the bed, and write down three things I’m grateful for at night.
    • If my MIP is to save money: download my credit card statements, review my expenses, and learn how to set up automatic saving.
    • If my MIP is to get a new job: update my resume, bookmark five job postings, and reach out to 3 people for advice.

    Make a Plan to Work on Your MIP

    It’s critical to develop a simple plan on how you will make progress. You will need time, physical energy, and mental headspace. Consider the following:

    • When: Will you work on it first thing in the morning, during your lunch break, or at night after work? Think about your energy level.
    • How long/frequent: Are you going to spend 10 minutes every day or 2 hours on the weekends?
    • Where: Will you work on it in the office, at home, or at a coffee shop?
    • What will you use: Are you going to use a piece of paper, a notebook, or your laptop? What other tools do you need?
    • What resources will help: Can you get advice from people before you start? How about books or videos that will set you up for success?
    • How to make the experience pleasant: What are ways you can make the process more enjoyable so that you will look forward to doing the work?

    Building on the three examples from earlier:

    “My MIP next month is to journal. Tomorrow I will go to a bookstore near my office and buy the most beautiful journal. I will put a pen and the journal next to my bed. Before I go to bed each evening, I will write down three things I’m grateful for and three things I can do better the next day. I will also read some other people’s journals and see what I can learn from them. Every week I will review my journal and be thankful for the experience from this week.”

    “My MIP next month is save more money for an upcoming trip in 6 months. I will work on this every Sunday afternoon for at least 30 minutes. To start, I will log on to my online banking portal and download my credit card statements this weekend. Over the next few weekends, I will review my expenses and identify what I can cut back on. Lastly, I will research how to set up automatic saving so I put aside at least $300 more each month into a dedicated savings account. After each 30 minute session, I will cook a nice dinner to celebrate.”

    “My MIP next month is to update my resume. I will spend at least an hour every Saturday morning. I will refresh my resume so it matches with the jobs I am applying for. I will edit and iterate until it looks as good as it can be. I will send my resume to three friends for their feedback. Once I’m done, I will treat my friends to dinner and we will have some fun.”

    Once you have a specific MIP and a plan, it’s time to get to work!

  • Rituals: Create Meaningful Time For What Matters

    Most of us want to spend time what matters. The challenge is most of us leads a busy life. When much is going on everyday, it’s easy to get distracted. We end up unconsciously diverting our attention to the things that don’t serve us.

    How can we dedicate more time to the activities that help us connect with ourselves, our loved ones, and the broader world? One practice has helped me: build a ritual. I have used this simple framework to create a few rituals over the years. Basically:

    1. Set intentions on the important activities important
    2. Bring full presence and undivided attention
    3. Repeat the above at the same time every day, week, or month

    My morning ritual is dedicated to spiritual growth and creative work. The intention is to observe my thoughts, train my focus, and start my day with peace. This time is reserved for brain-stretching exercises that are best with a clear mind: reflect on my life, write on this blog, and create new work. My morning looks like this:

    My evening ritual is dedicated to family and health. The intention is to nourish my body with healthy food, spend time with family, and create space to wind down for the day.

    • Cook simple food after work
    • Say a short prayer to give thanks
    • Have dinner with my wife at the dining table
    • Clean up right away*
    • Put away electronics an hour before bed
    • Read a physical book or magazine

    Rituals can also be weekly and monthly. While not every week looks like this, here are some common themes:

    • Fridays: Do something fun with my family and/or close friends, e.g. watch a movie or play board games
    • Saturdays: Do vigorous exercise, e.g. biking or basketball
    • Monthly: Meet up with the same group of friends every 4-6 weeks.

    The payoff of these rituals can be tremendous. I find myself spending less time wondering what I should do. Instead, I stack up a series of habits that add to my health, relationships, and well-being. Along the way, I discover more joy, meaning, and purpose in the simple things I do every day.

  • How to Spend More Time on What Matters

    “Your life—who you are, what you think, feel, and do, what you love—is the sum of what you focus on.”

    Winifred Gallagher

    Many of us work hard everyday, but we are often unaware of what our time went. Did I spend time on the things that matter? Did I move an inch in a hundred directions, or did I make meaningful progress? Was the last day, week, and month well-lived?

    Whenever these questions arise, I return to following three questions:

    1. What are my four important domains?
    2. How much time do I spend on each domain?
    3. How will I spend my more time on what matters?

    What Are My Four Important Domains?

    Conceptually, your life is made up of domains. Think of your major spheres of activities: work, family, health, community, spirituality, et cetera. It’s like an investment portfolio, but instead of putting in money, you invest with your time and energy every day.

    How important you view each domain reflects your values: that’s what matters to you right now.

    How do you figure out your top domains? One place to start is your heart. Ask: what brings you the most joy? When gives you a strong sense of purpose? What activity is meaningful? Where, how, and with whom would you spend your time if you have a choice?

    Once you have an initial list of activities, group the answers into domains. For example, spending time with your parents, partner, children and extended relatives can be under family. Your job, business, and side hustle can be under work. Church and volunteer work may be under community.

    How you define your domains is up to you. Creative pursuits can be part of work or self-care. Exercise can be part of health or community. Meditation can be under spirituality or religion.

    Limit your domains to no more than four. Take a moment to see if certain domains are more important than others. If you look deeply, you may see how these domains are interrelated. For example, if your family domain thrives, you are in a better mental shape to produce high quality work. When you have health, you will have more energy to dedicate to your friends or community. These domains may appear separate, but they are also one: they are all part of you.

    My life domains in a 2×2 in 2022

    How Much Time Do I Spend on Each Domain?

    How you allocate time to each domain reflects your choices: that’s how you live today. What we value and how we spend our time are not the same. In fact, it may be shocking to see how the two differ.

    One way to find out is to do a quick time audit. Spend a few minutes and roughly tally up where your time went last week. Look through your calendar. Review your projects, notes, and emails if they help to recall the week. How many hours went to work? When did you spend time with friends and family? Did you rest and take care of yourself?

    Compare how you spend time versus how you value each domain. What do you notice?

    When you allocate proper time and energy across your domains, your choices align with your values. Even when you work hard feel tired, but you will likely feel fulfilled because you know your time is invested in what matters. On the contrary, tension arises when your choices and values conflict. This happens when your time heavily skews towards one particular domain at the expense of the others.

    Conflicts always exist. Each domain competes for your limited attention. We are human. We don’t make perfect choices. Circumstances can also be a challenge. Sometimes an imbalanced life is the only choice. We have to make ends meet. Accidents happen. Life has rough patches. That’s okay. But whatever the situation, we always have a degree of control over our choices. It starts with being aware of where we stand today.

    While we should be compassionate with ourselves, it’s equally important to remember is that your important domains keep count over time. If you ignore your body for years, you will burn out. If you disregard your families and friends, you can’t do a big catch up years later and call it even. The more your values and your choices disagree, the more you are going to suffer over the long term. The wider the gap, the greater the damage. It’s fine to not water your plants for a day or two. But if you don’t water them for months, they will eventually die.

    How Will I Spend More Time on What Matters?

    If what you value and how you spend your time is perfectly aligned, congratulations. But if you are like the rest of us, we have some discrepancies to reconcile. For me, I tend to spend too much time on the computer for work and pleasure. That takes away time for health, family, and friends.

    Since we have the same 24 hours a day, the only way to invest more in the top domains is to change the way we use our time. That means shifting time from less important things to the most important domains.

    How can we find the time? It may be easier that you think. First, identify the activity we want to do less of. Some examples of what I have identified in the past:

    • Consume less entertainment (social media, internet, and TV)
    • Buy fewer things which reduces time on research and maintenance
    • Exit unimportant obligations (committees, community groups)
    • Resist perfection when 80% is enough
    • Decline social invitations that take away my prime time

    Second, we must choose where the time goes. Again, my examples below:

    You can even get creative by choosing activities that contribute to two domains at the same time. If your domains include friends and health, invite a close friend to go on a walk. If your domains include family and personal growth, invite your partner to read an inspiring book and have a discussion. The options are limitless.

    What will you do today?

  • Retreat at Big Sur (2022)

    A friendly monk is attending the reception when I walk in. He is warm, welcoming and smiling. His presence makes me comfortable. I tell him my name.

    “Welcome — I was just drawing a map for you in case you get here late!” he says.

    I resisted.

    The idea of going on a retreat occurred to me a few months ago. But voices in my head were vehemently against it.

    “I should not travel… There are covid cases… I have to take time off from work… It’s far away from home… It may not be useful.” Et cetera, et cetera.

    Beneath these excuses is a resistance to change. Not only a change of place, pace and focus that a retreat demands. But a change of attitude: to open my heart, to let go of the familiar, and to embrace the unknown. I am not sure what I will find.

    Then, an angel appeared. Mary, a friend of mine, has been going on retreats at the New Camaldoli Hermitage in Big Sur for more than three decades.

    “The hardest part was coming back, and trying to keep alive the gratitude, awe, wonder, and joy I felt while there.” she wrote. She urged me to go. Deep down in my heart, I know I have to. The invitation is clear. No more excuses.

    I am in awe.

    The panoramic view from the top of the mountain is stunning. The Hermitage must be one of the most beautiful places on Earth.

    The immaculate Pacific Ocean is filled with infinite shades of blue. The rolling mountains are veiled by a gentle fog. The sky is painted with incredible orange, pink and purple hues at dusk and dawn. Stars explode after dark.

    When I gaze at the pristine ocean, I experience a deep sense of peace and love. Nature always invites me, without conditions, to appreciate its beauty. But I have been busy doing many things. I have been running. I finally give it time. Now I am home. I can rest.

    I pray with the monks.

    The hymns and scriptures are beautiful. I find the deliberate pauses in between verses inspiring. It’s wonderful to have space to let the words sink in.

    Many prayers are offered for the people in Ukraine as the war unfolds. While the monks live a simple life, they are attuned to the happenings of the world.

    We pray for the separated families, the frightened men who need to fight for their country for the first time, and the refugees unsure of what the future holds.

    I feel pain and helplessness. But I’m comforted by the compassion that I know millions of people around the world hold in their hearts, as the monks do here in Big Sur.

    It feels like there isn’t much I can do with the atrocities from afar. But when I pray for my brothers and sisters, I am in solidarity with them.

    I meditate after evening prayers.

    Our small congregation gathers in a circle along the octagonal edges of the rotunda in the heart of the chapel. The practice is akin to a Zen meditation, which I have grown familiar with over the years.

    I take a mat, remove my shoes, and sit on a cushion. A monk puts the Eucharist, a piece of unleavened bread, at the center of the altar, lit by candles and natural skylight. I close my eyes, focus on my breath, and pay attention to my senses.

    The presence of the community is palpable. There is no exchange of words. But in silence, we say to each other we are brothers and sisters. We dwell in God’s peace.

    I go on long walks.

    I stroll, pause, and sit on the many benches around the Hermitage. For hours, I gaze at the breath-taking panorama: the morning haze, the shimmer from the ocean, and the expansive sky. I take this all in.

    Many animals keep me company. Out of nowhere, a dozen blue jays come winging and squawk loudly. A bunny leaps out of a bush. Two squirrels sprint as if they have found treasure.

    Sounds are abound. Beyond the animals, I hear gentle waves hitting the shore. A breeze blows through the trees. Once in a while, a motor engine roars from the distance Highway 1. I wonder where that car is going.

    I am no richer than yesterday. Yet I feel like the wealthiest man on this planet.

    On my way out

    I stop at my favorite bench one last time. Reluctantly, I say goodbye. Then I hear a voice: “Do good. Be good. I am always here with you.”

  • The Bigger the Change, the Smaller You Start

    Whenever we desire to make a change in our life, we often overcomplicate how to get started.

    Say you have grown restless with your current job. You enjoy baking. A voice in your head tells you to make cookies and share with the world.

    Yet, you are not so sure. Should you leave your job to dedicate to the craft? Should you go to culinary school? How much does it cost to buy equipment and rent a space? Can you survive with selling cookies?

    You think three, four, and five steps ahead. All these complexities paralyze you. At the end, nothing gets done.

    You are getting ahead of yourself. You don’t need to start with a drastic, permanent change to your job or lifestyle.

    A Better Approach: Start Small

    There is an easier way to experiment your career as a cookies chef.

    You only need to do one thing: make cookies.

    It means clear your weekends. Go to the grocery store. Gather ingredients. Make a complete mess in your kitchen. Watch free videos. Mimic the techniques, but make tweaks to create your signature flavors.

    Don’t have the best oven at home? Who cares. Bake lots of cookies with your subpar oven. Share the cookies with your friends and neighbors for free. Ask for feedback.

    Do this 4 weekends in a row. See how it feels. Write down your experience. Maybe you will love it, maybe you won’t. The only way to find out is to try, to get started.

    Starting small gives you far more feedback than any planning or studying can offer. In only a few days or weeks, you will learn:

    • How does this change feel in real life? Are you exhausted but fulfilled? Frustrated but hungry for more? Or does it feel forced and draining?
    • How much joy do you get?
    • Does it seem like you can endure the pain that comes this change?

    How to Start Small

    Starting small means to use the resources you already have without additional commitment. All your need is time and openness.

    Spend little to no extra money. Instead, find substitutes that are close enough. Learn to be resourceful. Don’t have a pencil? Use a pen. Don’t have blue? Use black. Don’t have lime? Use lemon.

    Most importantly, get as close as possible to the actual thing you aspire to do in the shortest amount of time.

    If you want to be a writer, don’t worry about getting an MFA degree yet. Instead, write. Open a blank document. Get your fingers moving. Borrow books from the library. Study how great authors tell stories.

    If you want to be an interior designer, don’t apply for an expensive architecture program yet. Instead, offer a friend a free home decor design consultation. Treat them as real clients. Ask what is important to them. Pick out furniture, color schemes, and build an estimated budget.

    If you want to work at a non-profit, don’t quit your corporate job yet. Instead, volunteer at a couple of non-profit organizations. Ask to shadow the staff on a weekend. Observe their challenges. Speak with the clients they serve. Be on the ground.

    When you start small, it’s less scary. You get feedback quickly. You validate assumptions in real life. You will learn if your hobby should stay as a hobby, or it has the potential to become something more meaningful in your life. It’s less costly if things don’t work out. In return, you will gain incredibly valuable insights into what works and what doesn’t.

    And you always have the option to fall back on your existing life.

    Start small. Try it.

  • A Simple 3-Minute Workout

    A challenge I have during weekdays is finding time to exercise. I used to have a gym membership before covid, but even then I didn’t go consistently. I preferred to do group classes, so I had to look up class schedules, make plans around it, get changed, pack my gym bag, and drive to the gym. There were too many steps involved.

    What I Learned About Myself

    Now working from home, it’s easy to find myself sitting in front of the computer all day. Before long, it’s the end of the day. When the sun is down, my body doesn’t feel like exercising. It’s dark and there isn’t much I can do outdoor. I’m tired from working all day, and I need to prepare dinner prep.

    As I observe myself, I reached the following conclusions.

    • If the exercise involves too many steps, I won’t do it.
    • It’s highly unlikely for me to work out after work at night.
    • I know a short exercise routine is better than nothing.
    • I need to do it in the morning before work, and make it ridiculously easy to start.

    My 3-minute Workout

    With the above in mind, I designed a simple 3-minute workout that I will do first thing in the morning.

    Now I wake up, get a glass of water, and do the following in my room.

    1. Push-ups: I plant my fingers strong, tuck my elbows in, and try to maintain a perfect plank the whole time.
    2. Squads: I keep my arms extended with a wide stance, bend my knees to 90 degrees, and return to the original position.
    3. Standing Crunches: I first interlock my fingers behind my head. I raise my left knee, rotate my upper body to the left, and touch my left knee with my right elbow. Repeat on the other side with right knee and left elbow.
    4. Jabs: I take an athletic stance and do punches. Alternate left and right.
    5. Kicks: I take an athletic stance, raise one leg at a time, and kick at waist level. Alternate left and right.

    When I did this routine for the first time, I started with doing only five of each of that above. It was absurdly easy that it took less than minute, but that is the point. The hardest thing is to start, so lowering the barrier to start is key. I do the same number on each so there is less number to keep track of.

    After the workout, I log the number in my daily habit tracker and enjoy a short burst of triumph.

    I set two rules for myself. First, I do this workout first thing in the morning. Second, I do at least as many as the previous day. That means I have the option to add (only) one each day. For example, I did 24 of each yesterday and the day before. This morning I felt ready to do my 25th push-ups, so I added one.

    I do it in my pajamas. I know some people suggest sleeping in workout clothes to make it easier to work out the next day, but I am not quite ready to do that yet. My pajamas are too comfortable to sleep in. Plus, it’s one less thing I need to do!

    What You Can Try

    If you are looking to add a bit of exercise in your life, design something absurdly easy that you can’t say no to. The key is consistency, and build on it as time goes. Don’t make it too hard at the beginning, or scale up too much too quickly. When you burn out, you stop doing it. That’s the worst outcome.

    You don’t need fancy equipment or gym membership. It costs nothing, requires no planning, and doesn’t need you to go anywhere. The possibilities are endless. Go for a 5-minute run or a 10-minute walk. Build your own routines like mine, and substitute with what you prefer. Regular push-ups may be hard, so feel free to use your knees for support. Or do give push-ups, do something else, and do another five. Mix it up, and play with it.

    Once you figure out a routine that works for you, try to stick to it, but keep an open mind: you can always change things around. The choice is yours.

  • Why My Dog Had a Credit Card

    The first month after we brought Xing home

    My dad decided to replace me a few months before I left for America.

    When he came across an online listing for someone to adopt a 2-year-old white Pekingese, we drove to a sleepy part of my hometown to check it out.

    We rang the doorbell and walked into the owner’s apartment. After a brief eye contact with us, the dog started racing in a zigzag pattern across the tiny living room—no more than 200 square feet and not uncommon in Macau—as if he had never seen a visitor in his life.

    He kept accelerating. He soon started panting loudly. He stuck his tongue out.

    The owner told us that the dog was a gift from his sister to keep him company. He was in a wheelchair most of the time and had difficulty leaving the house.

    “It would be best if someone else could walk him more often.”

    After we saw him for the first time…

    We convened a family meeting at home.

    My mom resisted the idea of a pet. She didn’t want more responsibilities around the house. “Who is going to pick up its poop?” she asked.

    My dad was adamant and decided to go ahead.

    “One day, I am going to snap my finger, and he will jump up to a chair so you can see him on video over Skype,” he told me after he brought Xing home.

    That prediction came nowhere close. He didn’t know that Pekingese is one of the least obedient breeds.

    For the next 14 years…

    I couldn’t remember a conversation with my parents without us mentioning Xing (“star” in Cantonese).

    How he got stung by a bee the other day. How he swallowed the toothpaste cap and threw up three days in a row. How he stepped on a cockroach with his paw.

    I visited home every two or three years. Every time when I arrived, Xing approached me as if I had never left.

    Xing loved the park near our house. He would forget about my parents when he was there. It didn’t matter how loud my parents barked; Xing remained poised and wandered in whatever direction he pleased, wholly absorbed in his world. Honestly, it wasn’t clear who owned who.

    Never say no to treats, never.

    One day I was applying for a credit card online…

    Halfway through the credit card application, an offer popped up. I could get extra points for every user added to the account, for free, and for up to a maximum of three family members. No identity validation was required.

    I put my dad’s name in the first field.

    I put my mom’s name in the second field.

    In the third field, I typed: X. I. N. G.

    Then I hesitated.

    “Should I give him a last name? I can’t just put the first name, right? It must be a full name… Xing Chim, it is.”

    An engraved credit card bearing that name came in the mail three weeks later. My wife (then girlfriend) couldn’t stop laughing about it.

    My parents still go to Xing’s favorite park…

    My dad and mom usually take a daily stroll after dinner. Xing practically lives in the park now. In 2020, my parents planted his cremated remains in (allegedly) his favorite banyan tree, with a pleasant view of a reservoir.

    They still talk about him every day. How he hated the vacuum cleaner and fireworks. How he got a little drunk once after sipping some beer (Yes, we had him try a little.) How he dared to pick fights with the bigger dogs in that same park.

    He also loved 100-dollar bills.

    Rich guy.