If we observe closely, we often live anywhere but in the present moment.
Our mind dwells in the past, or projects into the future. We kick ourselves for the mistakes we have made, or salivate over a vision of happiness that never seems to come. When that happens, we miss this very second. We overlook what’s right in front of us — the people we love, the beauty in this world, or the opportunities that quietly presented themselves. We are too busy looking everywhere but here and now.
How can we live this second in a more fruitful way? Three ideas may help.
1. Recognize our ability to choose only lies in this second.
The past is gone, and the future has not yet arrived. Our freedom to choose resides only in this moment.
Think of it this way: every second we are given an opportunity to cast a new vote for who we choose to be. What qualities do I want to cultivate? What version of myself do I long to be? How can I be 1% better this second than the last?
If I care about my mother, I can call and tell her I love her now.
If I want to support my wife, I can listen to her with understanding now.
If I aspire to be a writer, I can grab a journal and get my hands moving now.
What are we called to do now? Pay attention, then choose. Do it. Be it.
2. Remember this second is a gift.
Every day we are unconditionally given brand new twenty-four hours, with the backdrop that our life on this earth will eventually come to an end.
Memento mori — “remember you will die” — is an old philosophical idea. Acknowledging death is not morbid, no more than recognizing gravity is at work. We see it, we know it, but we don’t think about it.
Reframe death this way: If we live forever, there is no point in doing anything today. If there is no death, there is no life. The powerful combo of life and death propels us to act.
Why not use this gift to its fullest, knowing that we are merely tenants in this world? This will give you a proper perspective to ignore the trivial things. Stop worrying about how others view you, or the possessions you have, or the gossip of the day. Is that how we want to use our precious gift?
3. Orient Your Life Around Love
The Catholic theologian and philosopher St. Thomas Aquinas defines love as “the choice to will the good of the other.”
When we truly love someone, we go beyond our own gains and benefits. Our genuine concern becomes others’ well-being.
What does the person in front of you — family, friend, neighbor, colleague or stranger — need? If you want to build a better world, don’t plan for great things in the future. Instead, start with the person right here.
Acting out of love this way may be unglamorous in the worldly sense. Sacrificial love goes beyond the warm and fuzzy feeling. Instead, it calls for patience, understanding, and compassion. As Mother Teresa once put it: “True love is love that causes us pain, that hurts, and yet brings us joy.”
Why would we base our choices on such love? Because it gives our life meaning and purpose. Sacrificial love is a sure way for lasting, life-giving joy.
Recall the love you have received in the past — perhaps from a parent, a mentor, or a dear friend — and how their kindness has transformed your life for the better. This love transcends time: their will for your good continues to live within you today. Isn’t that a beautiful thing?
You can choose to do the same for others.
How do you know which is the path of love? If you are not sure, go for a walk. Then quiet yourself, be still, and listen to your heart. Your heart always knows the path of love. Follow it, do your job, and then everything will fall into place.