Jimmy Chim

Tag: Psychology

  • Anxiety

    I took time off and disconnected from work email over the holidays. On the first day back, I noticed a familiar reaction before opening the inbox: sweaty palms. My mind raced. My stomach tightened.

    Anxiety is anticipating failure in advance. “Did something blow up? What went wrong? What did I miss?”

    Intellectually, I knew probably nothing happened. And if something did happen, I knew I could face the issue, break it down, and handle it.

    Anxiety still arose nonetheless.

    I returned to a practice I’ve been working on: observe the emotion, watch it evolve, and get curious. What if I write about it? When revealed, it has nowhere to hide. It loses its grip. It melts away.

  • Tweak the environment

    The items most accessible in our environment often determine what we do in a given moment.

    If there are potato chips on the counter, I will likely eat them. If the phone is my pocket, I will likely check it. If the TV is on, I will likely watch it.

    We can exploit this by making the important things easier to access. For example, put fruits and vegetables in a visible location to eat healthier. Carry the book you want to read. Lay out supplies on the desk to encourage more creative work.

    Conversely, we can increase the barrier for the things we want less of. For example, charge electronic devices in another room. Remove an overused app from the homepage. Hide the chocolate chip cookies behind the cabbage.

    Changing the environment alone doesn’t determine whether we do something or not, but it has a huge influence.

  • Start small

    When we start a new project or develop a new habit, it is tempting to go big right away: read an entire book, run three miles, or play an instrument for five hours.

    But by doing too much at the beginning we risk burning ourselves out. I can’t tell you how many times I quit an endeavor within a week.

    Another option is to start small. Do a little on the first day. Make it easy. Read one page. Walk half a mile. Practice one chord. Then ramp up slowly.

    Never underestimate the power of a small step. Going from zero to one is already an achievement.

  • Labels

    Labels, when abused, are licenses to be desensitized. When labels are all we use, we stop understanding. We reduce someone people to a single phrase.

    “Mary is an engineer.” What if she quits tomorrow? Does that fundamentally change who Mary is?

    “Tony is wealthy.” We see mansions, fancy cars, and lavish parties. How about his hopes, his struggles, and his love?

    “Jimmy is Chinese.” What does being “Chinese” represent? Bruce Lee? Kung Pao chicken? Good at math? Eats bats? Can’t write English? I am none of the above*.

    If we believe in a label, it becomes a fixed lens we use to filter the world. In many cases, facts no longer matter. Existing assumptions prevail. Disapproving information, even right in front of us, changes nothing.

    As Søren Kierkegaard said, “Once you label me you negate me.”

    * I do enjoy Panda Express once in a while

  • Expectations

    Two scenarios.

    Scenario I: A driver says a trip takes an hour. En route, there are accidents and road constructions. The journey is delayed to two hours. We are angry that time is “wasted.”

    Scenario II: A driver says a trip takes three hours. En route, barely any cars are on the road. The journey is shorted to two hours. We are delighted.

    Same amount of travel time, but opposite experience. All depends on expectations.