Temple’s parents were alarmed.
They were expecting the two-year-old to be like her siblings. Something was off, however. There was no eye contact when they talked to her. Instead, Temple was busy flapping her hands. She repeated the exact phrases over and over. She sometimes spaned around in circles for hours until she got dizzy and could barely stand up.
The doctor’s diagnosis: brain damage. In the 1950s, that diagnosis meant they didn’t know what it was (she would have been diagnosed today with autism).
Temple’s parents went for another assessment when she was four. The doctor’s recommendation was dire: send her to a state mental institution. Eustacia, Temple’s mother, refused. It would be unbearable to lose her daughter forever, she said.
After hustling for options, Eustacia found a school meeting Temple’s needs. She also started Temple on speech therapy, which helped, but the success was mixed. Her classmates at school still ridiculed her for constantly repeating herself. They gave her a nickname: “tape recorder.”
Once at 14, Temple got angry and threw a book at a schoolmate. The school expelled her. Shortly after, her parents divorced.
Everything was falling apart.
After she got expelled, Temple spent the summer with her aunt. She discovered a deep sense of connection with the animals on the farm, who seemed to understand her better than the humans.
It was then that Temple spotted a funny-looking machine. It is known as a squeeze chute, which holds cattle tightly while they are examined, marked, or treated. Temple became fascinated. She wanted a similar machine to hug herself to feel safe and secure.
She started spending all her time reading books on machine design. As she did, her challenge in understanding text began to fade away. With the encouragement of a science teacher, she built a makeshift squeeze machine. It calmed her anxiety through her teenage years and young adulthood.
From that point on, Temple became engaged. Even though she was a slow reader, she graduated from college with a degree in psychology. She went on and pursued a master’s and doctorate in animal science.
Temple became a professor 30 years after she discovered her love for animals. In addition to advocating for animal rights, she pioneered humane and effective livestock-handling systems. Her designs helped reduce animal stress and injury. She spoke worldwide and raised awareness for autism and neurodiversity.
Her name is Temple Grandin. She is currently a faculty member at Colorado State University. In 2010, Time listed her as one of the 100 most influential people in the world. Her category: “Heroes.”
“I am different, not less.” — Temple Grandin
Lesson 2: Ask, “What Now?”
“Why” is an irresistible question when something goes wrong.
Temple Grandin could have dwelled on why she was autistic and anti-social her entire life, but she didn’t (at least not all the time). Steve Nash could have done the same with his spine condition.
Asking why something happens can generate insights, but spending a lot of time on it rarely yields a better answer.
The truth is we all inherit a set of circumstances. Most things in life are out of our control. Some people don’t try very hard and have it easy. Others work incessantly and still struggle.
Comparison with others, however, is a dead end. What you will get is anger, frustration, and despair.
The point is not about other people. It’s about you. Of the things you can control, what do you choose to do? How will you exercise your freedom?
When you ask, “what now,” you become curious. You shift your focus from what you lack to what you have.
Given your set of constraints, what are your options? What assets do you have? How do your past challenges offer a unique perspective? How can you turn your pain into valuable lessons? What does your gut say?
These questions move you forward.
If the road ahead is unclear, you can approach it like a puzzle. Start with the answers you’re surest of and build from there. Don’t be afraid to guess. Don’t be afraid to move on from a solution that isn’t working out. If you are stuck, put it aside and return later. It’s your puzzle. Solve it any way you want.
Focus on what you can do now.