What I Have Learned From 33 Years of Life

The other day I decided to write a list of 33 life lessons in one sitting. I ended up with 36. The exercise was fun! I highly recommend it.

I plan to do this every year and see how the list changes.

  1. “Tell me more” is a complete sentence. Use it often.
  2. Be 80% full. If you are hangry, you make bad decisions. If you are too full, you have no energy. The sweet spot is when you are satisfied enough not to think about food. Speaking of food…
  3. When you eat, eat. The food will taste better.
  4. Treasure friends from young adulthood. You will likely spend the most time with them for the rest of your life. Friends you make later in life are great, but they are different.
  5. Money is a hygiene factor. You need enough to not worry. Beyond that, it’s a game. How you play is up to you.
  6. Things are always changing. The more you cling to the past, the more you reject the present. That creates pain and suffering.
  7. Every problem has multiple solutions. We get stuck when we assume there’s only one answer.
  8. Know your options. Good decision-making starts with seeing the paths available. You always have more options than you think.
  9. Choose. Make up your mind. Be deliberate with what you do. The ability to choose is an incredible gift. It’s also called freedom.
  10. Three options if you are unhappy. 1) quit; 2) change it; 3) accept it.
  11. Step away if you are stuck: Take a shower, do housework, or clean the garage. A bit of distance does wonders. Solutions come when you least expect them.
  12. Walk. You can’t do worse after a walk. Motion shifts your perspective. Anywhere with trees or a body of water works well.
  13. Sleep is an effective strategy. It solves problems that seemed intractable just eight hours ago.
  14. Learn by starting. The only way to become fluent in a language is to speak it. The only way to write well is to write. When you start, you struggle. When you struggle, you learn.
  15. Figure out the why. We often first jump into the what and the how, but why matters the most. What do you believe in? Why do this? Why do that? Why do anything at all?
  16. Journaling keeps giving: Every day write down: 1) what made you happy; 2) what didn’t go well; 3) new ideas to try. Great use of five minutes of your time.
  17. Get the right tool… If a (physical or digital) tool helps you do your work well and you will use it consistently, get it.
  18. …but start with the basic model: Get the simplest option. You can always get a fancier one later. That way, you don’t waste money on something you realize you don’t need. Also, upgrades are fun.
  19. Noticing is an underrated skill. Artists create beauty by noticing fascinating patterns. Entrepreneurs build a business by noticing an unsolved problem. Scientists discover breakthroughs by noticing irregularities in the lab data. Every interesting endeavor starts with an observation.
  20. Care for yourself first. You can’t contribute when you are depleted. If you are sleep-deprived, grumpy, and uninspired, nothing you do is helpful.
  21. Joy comes when you think of others. Lasting happiness is always shared. St. Thomas Aquinas defines love as “the choice to will the good of the other.” The Dalai Lama XIV calls it “wise selfish.” When you share with others, you feel happy yourself. If everyone is happy, being “selfish” or not doesn’t matter.
  22. Start small. The best advice I have ever received. When in doubt, start with one. If you did one, you already won. 99% of the people didn’t do it.
  23. It’s never too late. In a year, you will wish you started twelves months ago. Start now.
  24. One thing at a time. Multitasking doesn’t work. You will do worse. It’s science.
  25. Do it daily. Ironically, it’s easier to do something every day than 2 times a week. You can forget about the day of the week.
  26. Things compound. A small action or decision doesn’t seem like much on a given day, but if you keep at it, your path will look very different in 5 years.
  27. Time doesn’t change things. People do. You do.
  28. Write down what you plan to do. When you put ink on paper, it’s a soft commitment. You will be 10x more likely to do it.
  29. Three most important things (MITs). Every day pick three MITs. Do them before everything else. Everything else afterward is a bonus.
  30. Do the hardest things first. This relates to the previous point. Your cognitive energy depletes throughout the day. Save the easy stuff for later when you are tired.
  31. Make lists. The simplest yet most useful tool. Shopping list. Project list. Movies list. Packing list. Meal idea list. What-to-do-when-your-in-laws-visit list. Make one. It’s fun, useful, and revealing.
  32. Say no kindly. It’s okay to decline what you don’t want to do.
  33. Say yes loudly. If you come across a great idea or an opportunity, jump on it. This is the reason why you say no to other things: to have space to dedicate to the things that matter.
  34. Pick one battle. No need to be inundated by the many problems of the world. Many of them are out of your control. Instead, start with the problem in front of you. That’s what you’re called to do today.
  35. Listen to your heart. If you don’t listen, eventually it will catch up to you. And you will have spent a lot of time on what doesn’t matter.
  36. Call the people you care about. Partner, family, friend, whoever. Do it before it’s too late.

What does your list look like?